Set-Apart (Part 1)

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as a prophet to the nations. “O Sovereign Lord, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young; for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people for I will be with you and I will protect you. I, the LORD, have spoken!” Then the LORD reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”- {Jeremiah 1:5-10}

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” – What a Girl Wants

Have you ever watched one of those movies that begins with the ending? Only to then say, "10-years before..." to help you then make sense of what you just saw? 

Like any good story, it's important to know where the character(s) came from to better understand whey certain events that took place were such a big deal & why certain events made such an impact--you have to know where someone has been. Context is everything!

I will never forget the first time I read Jeremiah 1:5-10 and the enormous impact it had on me from that day forward. I was 13-years old and sitting in my living room waiting on the school bus one morning. I had been a Christian for all of a year, but the Lord had already begun a good work in me in giving me the desire to know Him more through His Word and seek Him in prayer. It wasn’t something that I had to muster up, but rather a desire, a curiosity that I need only give way to. In the beginning I didn’t even know where to start, but my Bible had a little check-list in the back that I used for a guide. Each book of the Bible I read and finished, I would check off.

That particular morning I decided to start reading the book of Jeremiah. I didn’t get very far once my eyes landed on the words “I set you apart.” I remember just staring at those words; set apart and thinking, “God has a plan for me, He has set me a part for something. My life is going to look different than most people (whatever that meant).” I didn’t have all the details, but I knew in that moment I had a calling. For what? I didn’t know. But I knew God had set me apart to do something & that my life was meant to look different. With that truth pounding in my brain, I closed my Bible and walked down the long drive-way to the bus. Nothing outwardly had changed, but for the rest of the day and the days that followed the Lord always echoes those words into my heart & mind, “I’ve set you apart.”

Now, at 13-years old, I loved the idea of being set apart, being used of God. It gave me such excitement to know God had a plan for my life. As the years rolled by, those words played like a broken record in my heart until they collided with some other words a few years later, and the combination of these two truths were and are life changing.

Growing-up I was very much what you would call “a church girl.” Now, please don’t let that turn you off. I’ll share with you along the way my struggles and stumbles along with journey of waiting and trusting God. But in the early years of my walk with the Lord I am so thankful for the leaders who invested in me! I have no idea where I’d be without the blessing of the discipleship I received! Nothing short of the favor and grace of God for sure on my young life—He knew what I would face in the years ahead and he certainly well prepared me for battles that lay ahead.

With that said, at the 18-years old I attended church camp (like I had ever year). But over the last few  years we’d gone to a camp in Panama City Beach, FL called Big Stuf Camp (Yes, it’s spelled correctly). This was not a new summer experience, but over the last few years I had come to Big Stuf I began to experience God’s presence in a way I never had before.

That particular summer, the whole theme was Illusions. It was all about helping up learn to make wise choices. The quote for the week was taken from Andy Stanley’s book “Boundaries.” The quote/phrase of the week was this, “What is the wise thing to do in light of my past experience, current circumstances and future hopes and dreams?”

One particular night, our speaker for the night was Louie Giglio. During his message he said something that, like the words “set apart”, began to do a work in me, what He said combined with being set apart, set me heart and life ablaze.

He asked this question, “Do you want to know the purpose for your life?” Naturally my response (silently in my mind) was ‘yes!’ He then said, “The purpose of your life is to live for the glory to God.” A light-bulb went off in my heart & I suddenly had a purpose a reason why I did what I did, and/or didn’t do other things. I was set apart to live for the glory of God.  

You might be asking, how in the world does this all tie into waiting on God? That’s great and all that you felt you found your purpose and all, but what does that have to do with anything in pertaining to dating/relationships?

Well, afterwards, the following evening I was having my quiet time on the beach and I came across the verse “A woman is bounder to her husband for as long as he lives…”Now that might not sound romantic, but it was the part of the verse that said, “as long as he lives…”  that struck me.

Since an early age I had always wanted to fall in love—like most girls. In my middle school years I had a mentor, Melanie, who poured into myself and other girls as well and taught us about purity and the importance of knowing our worth & value in Christ. I looked at Melanie, this beautiful 18-year old who was popular, prom queen, loved Jesus & had never had a serious boyfriend. She wanted to wait on God for His best and His timing. I so admired her faithfulness to obey God and trust Him with that area of her life—her whole life really—but that area in particular stood out because it was just so different from what the world was doing.

So at the early age of 14-years old I committed to wait and trust God with this area of my life. I don’t say that for you to pat me on the back, I tell you that to give you some background to understand moving forward where/how this whole journey got started. But anyway, it’s easy to commit to purity when your 14-years old and don’t necessarily have guys lining up around the block to ask you out.

By the age of 18-years old I had one date under my belt, and that was about it. I remember in High School was the first time I began to start regretting my decision to wait on God. Maybe there are others of you out there that are more spiritual that me, but I wanted a boyfriend like all my friends. I flirted a little, but nothing came of my many crushes in High School. All these years later, after first telling the Lord I wanted to wait on Him, and struggling through High School to trust God with his plan and timing, he met with me again on the beach of Florida to speak into my heart that He has a plan—a set apart plan. One for His glory. The plan had purpose attached to it. The calling to live set apart was for a reason—His glory.

 

As I read those words, “as long as he lives…” they reminded me of wedding vows & the realization of the importance of faithfulness—even before marriage—rang in my heart. I wanted to be faithful to my future husband before I ever meet him. Not just faithful physically, but faithful in prayer for Him, faithful in believing God to work & move in his life…even now. I desired so much to be a crown to my husband. A partner in this mission to bring God glory. However, that wasn’t going to start when I meet him, it was going to start now.

This is when things began to get a little sticky. I had belief systems deep rooted in me, that I didn’t realize at the time, where I believed that if I did what God said, did it His way, he’d give me a husband. Surely, if I was faithful, waited & trusted in Him he wouldn’t make me wait all that long?! Right?!

As 18 gave way to 19 and 19 gave way to 20 and 20 turned into 21, I started to look around and still no guy in sight. Now, you might be thinking, you were only 21-years old. Yes, but in my mind I was 21-years old with no relationship(s) to show for it. I had become hyper focused on learning about how God views relationships/dating/love…etc. It’s all I thought about, and I wondered when the day would come that I’d finally meet this guy I’d been praying for.

At the time I had begun reading a book about “Becoming Mrs. Right.” It’s one of those books that is a game changer. In the book there is less of a focus on finding the right guy, but more on becoming the right girl. In one of the chapters she talked about serving. Us in the gifts and talents that God has given us for His glory. That as single young ladies we have this time to serve & be used by God without all the demands of a family.

"The perfect time to make the most of every opportunity is while you are single. Every believer should use time wisely, as Eph. 5:15-17 (NIV) says: 'Be careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise,making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.' 

John Fisher wrote: " God has called me to live now. He wants me to realize my full potential as a man right now, to be thankful about where I a, and to enjoy it to the fullest. I have a strange feeling that the single person who is always wishing he or she were married will probably get married, discover all that is involved, and wish he were single again! He/She will ask themselves, "Why didn't I use that time for the Lord when I didn't have so many other obligations? Why didn't I give myself totally to Him when I was single?" 

The single woman can be involved in the Lord's work on a level that a married woman cannot because of the distractions and responsibilities of being a wife and mother. Ironically, some single women can be so distressed by their single state that they become emotionally more distracted than a wife and mother of four children.

Rather than staying home worrying about another "dateless" Saturday night. realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life. Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God--a package that contains opportunities to serve Him that are limited only by your own self-pity and lack of obedience."- Lady in Waiting 

The Lord began to show me that I had all this time that I could get out there and serve and volunteer and be used of Him. My life didn’t start when I got married. Marriage was/is a part of the journey, not the final destination. He wasn’t going to just drop some guy in my lap. I need to get outside my comfort zone and start serving Him through serving others with the gifts and talents and passions He’d given me. Then, in His time and His way, if it was/is part of His plan He’d bring a guy into my life. But until that day, my job was to know Him and make Him known using what He’d given me. I was so lazor focused on finding the “right guy” I had put so many other things on the back burner.

With this new revelation in my heart, I not only began serving my church more, I started volunteering at conferences and even went back to college. I got involved at a college Bible Study and for the next 3-years I was pursuing the Lord with everything I had in me. I grew more in those three years that I think I ever had before. I wouldn’t trade those 3-years for anything!!!!

Then I met someone in January 2010 that God would use to change & challenge everything I thought I believed!