I'm Doing a New Thing

Well, I guess I should go ahead and share the big news! As of February 24th I will be FLORIDA GIRL!!! SO WEIRD, but exciting. I'll be moving to Jacksonville, FL to help with a Church plant (more info to come on all the details of that) but the Lord has provided above and beyond what I could imagine.

This was certainly NOT what I had in mind 6 months ago!!! I think my head is still kind of spinning from all the change the last 3 months have brought!

I'll be honest, I grew up visiting Florida...mostly the gulf coast...and I remember saying, out load to God, MANY times, "I would live anywhere but Florida." I have witnesses who can testify to my saying this! 

 I wasn't a fan of the whole humidity and the heat thing. Thats when the high-maintence southern girl, in me, kicks in. But there are just some things that are so clearly God you can't shake them..and this was one of them.

My mind was set on moving to Charlotte, NC actually. Not that I didn't want to live in Atlanta, I was just ready for some change. I have called Atlanta home for 27-years. I did the whole living-at-home-through-college-life and so aside from mission trips I had never really moved away from home. So I was eager to pick-up and go somewhere new. If I was going to just uproot my life...now would be the time to do it.

I had some amazing opportunities and possibilities with Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC but didn't have a peace about any of them. One night as I was praying and thinking about the possibility of a move to NC I found myself wondering, “what about FL?” After all these years my heart and mind still dreamed big for that city and the towns surrounding it. Sometimes God will be put specific people on your heart, but he can also put cities and countries on your heart as well--cities and countries have people that Jesus loves. God can give you a heart to love people you've never even met. But my hands felt tied, and doors felt locked shut. I knew that if Florida was were God wanted me...He was going to have to do it. I could only do so much. I could take certain steps, but God had to open the doors and make the way. 

Then mid-January I received a phone call from Jennifer Beckham of Jennifer Beckham Ministries (my boss) who I had been working for on the side for a little over a year.  Just a side-note to make this story even cooler…I met get Jen almost 7 years ago at an FCA girls conference that she was speaking at. You can't tell me God isn't into the details...He is always working and moving. Nothing is coincidence--he was setting up for this long ago. 

Jen called me to share some really exciting news with me.  She and her husband Anthony had just come off a 21-day fast, and had both come to the same conclusion of where the Lord was leading them--it was actually the weekend after Passion 2014 in Atl (gives you an idea of how fast this all happened). 

Jen informed me that she and her husband were going to be starting a church--after 18 years in ministry as Evangelist, God was calling them to plant a church in the city they call home--Jacksonville.

She wanted me to pray for them, but also pray about whether God was leading me to be a part of this adventure of starting a church in Jacksonville with them. My heart fell to my feet…I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to. This was NOT what I saw coming...or had in mind for what I was going to be doing next.

That weekend that followed was one of nothing but tossing and turning in my Spirit...the Holy Spirit was tugging at my heart so strongly I couldn’t shake it.  I can count on one hand the times I have felt that kind of pull. My mind raised with vision for what God could do, but you talk about feeling unqualified to do something!!! 

Before I gave Jen my answer I knew I was going to need a job. I knew starting out I wasn’t going to be getting paid, at least from the Church—so until the Church got going I needed a job.

I’ll be honest, I was kind of over Church at this point. I never thought I'd say that...but it was true. I wasn’t really looking to jump right back into one...especially starting one...I'd just left one I'd thought I'd be at for awhile. The opportunity was incredible, no doubt, but I was still unsure. I had been burned a few times too many (by people in the church) at this point 9 years into ministry, and I was kind of exhausted of putting on the “happy church face” every week.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to give this another shot! I had a lot of people ask me if I was excited, and I was, but the past 5 years had been so exhausting emotionally for me personally that I wanted to make sure if I made this move...it was the right move. Over and over again, in many ways, God confirmed that it was. But it was going to take full dependence on Him! 

For the next few weeks my heart was restless...in the good way. My passion for the Church began to grow again. I was becoming excited about Church. It was the uncertainty that made me feel anxious...but that’s where faith comes in. So I took a leap of faith and starting applying to schools for teaching positions (use the teaching degree for something, right?)

I was still looking for jobs in ATL as well--I wasn't entirely sold just yet on moving. After applying to what felt like HUNDREDS of places I finally just took a step back and waited to see what doors God opened. 

I had a VERY small pool of people (family and a few friends) who knew what was going on. I didn't want too many voices/opinions in my head. I can doubt/question/logically think through things on my own...I don't need help over-analyzing and doubting. I need people who push me to walk by faith, more than I need people to help me logically think through or over-think something.  I needed and wanted to hear God and know that the next move was what he wanted. I'd been on a similar edge before. God reminded me that just because you're not at a job 20-years doesn't mean that it wasn't Him, and that I wasn't faithful. So I limited the number of people who knew what was going on--I didn't want my Florida friends too get to eager or my Georgia friends and family trying to convince me to stay. 

I took the month of January to just pray and seek the Lord in what he wanted me to do next. That’s why Jen's phone call was even more surprising and exciting...it was the timing of it. There was one particular day that I wanted so bad to just have a job...I wanted money. I had money, I just wanted more.  I remember the Lord speaking into my heart that night and saying, "If all you want is a paycheck...you can go down the street and get that. If money is all you want, go down the road. But if you want calling, you wait on me." I never thought I was someone who pursued money, but God quickly showed me how quickly I would take a job because it “looked good” to others, was full-time in ministry, at a church and with a nice paycheck attached. I couldn't serve two masters...I was either going to follow Jesus and trust for Him to provide or follow a nice paycheck...but I couldn't do both. 

It took me only 4 months to realize that where I was no longer where God wanted me. I had made up my mind that I was going to dig in my roots in Woodstock, GA. I guess that was where God wanted me...but within just a few months that all changed. For the first time in 9 years I was without a job & without a church home. A VERY ,VERY, strange feeling for a girl who grew up in church. I ALWAYS had a Church I called home. I didn't jump around growing up. I knew what it meant and looked like to be rooted somewhere. My whole life I had a church family, I was never without a place to go on Sunday, something to do on Wed or Sun, something to teach, plan or a meeting(s) to attend. It's all I knew. I had always had a job since I was 18 years old. So you can imagine that suddenly I found myself in a "forced rest" shall me say.  That was what I felt January needed to be...a time with Jesus to figure out what He wanted me to do. I was doing a lot of things, but I felt all over the place, and I didn't like it.

Yes, it's allowed me to gain some great experience but I was at a place where I knew God was calling me to take root, and commit to being somewhere for a while (mentally, emotionally, spiritually not just physically living somewhere) but be invested, and cultivate faithfulness. So you can imagine my surprise when I go down to Jacksonville for an interview, and within 48 hrs. I am offered a full-time co-lead Pre-K Teacher position at a private school, have options of places to live, and a CHURCH COMMUNITY where I can use  the gifts and talents God has given me and see a vision that’s been on my heart for years have the potential to come to life!It wasn't until I took that step of faith and told Jen, "YES" that the peace of God came.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.- 1 Cor. 13:11

I am moving to Florida in less in 2 weeks and I have never felt more bi-polar about a decision in my life. I have peace, but I’m daily asking God, “are you sure?”

This happened just the other day while my mom and I were sitting in a hotel room. She got to experience one of the many meltdowns I’ve had over the last month. I know this is the right decision, but it’s happening very fast and becoming very real. I’m excited and a nervous wreck.

I had all these idea of what moving would be like…I’m not quite sure why I thought it would be more fun than stressful. I didn’t really take into account all that was going to go into moving a state away from my family. I’ve never lived on my own, and so this is BIG for me.

But the other morning as I sat out of the balcony watching the sunrise, asking the Lord if I was making the right decision, I read (1 Cor. 13:11) and felt the Lord whisper, “it’s time to grow up and this is the next step.”

It feels fast to some people, but it feels like 2 ½ years of prayers answered in a few short weeks. I would have LOVED to take a few more months to move and get adjusted, but I needed a job, and Jen’s phone call was just the push I needed to make a decision to do it. 

Currently I'm sitting in the house I've lived in for 22 years...and the memories that fill these walls are unimaginable. I know I can always come home...home isn't going anywhere. But its a weird feeling to be ready, on one end, to be in a new place that you know you're being called to go, and on the other end not ready to pack everything up. 

I'll admit I'm more excited than sad. I've had a lot of people tell me, "This has been a long time coming." I'm eager to see what God has in store. This is defiantly going to be an adventure!! I hope to stay put a while, Lord willing. I want to dig in my heals and get my hands dirty. I want my life to have roots again. God wasn't kidding when I felt him speaking into my heart and over my life for this coming year, "I AM DOING A NEW THING!!!!!"

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.- Isaiah 43:19