A Treasure Worth The Wait

I had stopped writing.

Just for a moment!

Not because I didn’t have anything to say, not because God wasn’t teaching me new things, but because my motive in writing had to change.

There I was hacking away at a keyboard with all the passion in the world to want to see a generation of girls walk in purity—to pursue purity. But, God stopped me in my tracks with one question: Why do you wait? What has helped you wait?

With that question followed this statement: “it’s not about behavior modification. It’s about heart transformation. You get to the root of why girls’ (specifically) are not waiting…and the behavior will follow.”

So I had to stop!

Stop and look at why I was waiting?

I had not walked this road perfectly! Who was kidding!!!

Like anyone else, I struggled with lust and having pure thought 24 hrs. a day. There were plenty of times that it wasn’t so much that I was “waiting” just hadn’t been given the opportunity to do what my flesh wanted to do. I chased guys, because I didn't think I was worth the pursuit" instead of letting myself by pursued as God designed it. I would seek attention from guys because I derived some sense of worth and value from raising an eyebrow. Just being real 

But, what had helped? What was it? Was it just rules for me? Was I just really good at “following the rules,” or was it something more?

Over the course of , almost, a year, my book sat on the shelf. I continued to write, continued to read, seek the Lord, grow and learn, but there my book sat in a folder on my desktop—unfinished.

It felt pretty much finished…but I didn’t want to write something that was already out there. Nothing in me wanted the attention that came with writing “a book.” Just those words made me cringe because it meant unwanted attention and many shocking looks that screamed "book! you? seriously?"—at least to me. Writing books were reserved for other people. Not me! 

I did not want to give girls more rules to follow—that was missing the whole point. Everything in me began to desire heart change for a generation. That’s what it was going to take for girls to not just desire purity but walk in it, but it wasn’t something that I could do. It had to be the work of the Holy Spirit.

My job was to be obedient…obedient to whatever God called me do.

To share whatever He called me to share.

One night I lay in my bed overwhelmed with the image of one little girl. One girl who was standing on the edge of whether or not to continue to wait on God. Was it worth it? 

Been there!!!

I wanted so much to be able to grab the hand of girls who had made the leap and done things they now regret…and point them to a Savior, Jesus, who does not call them “damaged goods” but calls them His treasured possession, cherished, forgiven, and loved.

I also desired to take the hand of the girl who is right on the edge…thinking about it…and remind her of her worth. She is worth waiting for, worth being pursued, and ANY GUY who tries to make her compromise is not worthy of her. The kind of man God wants for his daughters, is one who desires for her to be more like Jesus!!

Then there is the girl who is waiting. The one who desires to wait, wants to wait, but feels like everyone around her isn’t. She hears testimony after testimony of women who had messed us sexual and been redeemed by Jesus, and now are living a different life. But they DO want to wait. But they feel like maybe they need to “dirty up” their testimony a bit to make an impact.  To that girl I say, “wait!” It can be done! It is not easy! It’s defiantly the narrow way, but it will be worth it.

To see a generation of girls seek and desire to glorify God in all they do.

I don't want girls to see their virginity as this “thing” they need to get rid of—like a virus. Purity is not a “thing”…it apart of your very identity in Christ. 

“Rules can be broken, but visions are lived”- Sex and the Single Christian Girl: By Marian Jordan Ellis

I want to see a generation of girls who have vision. Who are not trying to just keep some “rule” but are seeking to further the Kingdom of God and therefore desire to glorify him.

I’ll be honest, the fact that I am waiting use to be a huge source of shame and embarrassment for me because I fell for the lies of the world that made purity seem like some big joke. To be a virgin is something to be mocked and made fun of. You're made to feel “less of a women” if you haven’t “been with a man" by a certain point.

You’re not seen as a treasure to be cherished, but rather hopeless and someone to be pitied. It took a long time before I was okay sharing my story or waiting again…because I didn’t think I had anything worth sharing. Until the Lord showed me that as powerful as testimonies are of those who didn’t wait, and God redeemed (and we need those) there is also a needs for balance. There need to be those, who in humility and not self-righteousness, talk about how waiting on God (in this area in particular) can be done…through middle school, high school, college, and even up into young adulthood…waiting on God is possible!

Not easy…but possible.

Waiting doesn't guarantee a perfect marriage (marriage is still going to take love, effort, and sacrfice on both parts. It will be fun but will challenge you). Waiting doesn't make you better than someone who didn't. But, it also IS NOT something to ashamed of. Virginity is not something to be mocked and made fun of. But unfortunately in today's world...it's a rare find.  

I'm very careful in how I word things, because if you have made mistakes in this area but have since turned and given your life to Christ you are a new creation. You are made pure! White as snow. But, I want the girls out there who are waiting and have waited to hear me out: 

You are a rare find in today's world. You are that needle in a haystack. You are a treasure that deserves to be cherished worth the pursuit...not a quest to be conquered. 

Don't use your purity as a means to manipulate and tease. It's not meant to used as a "bargaining tool." It's not meant for you to hold your head high in self-righteouness. 

It's simply a gift that is reserved for the man who is willing to pursue you in a godly way, and who is willing to stand at the end of a aisle with you, has committed to laying his life down for you...only then do he get..ALL THIS! haha

My desire these days is to see girls waiting for the right reasons. That it flows from a heart that has fallen in love with Jesus Christ, captivated by him, rooted in her worth in Christ, and now desires to live for Him, and wants to point others to Him…I want to the desire to wait on God’s best to flow from that place.

Not rules…but relationship!