Keep It Classy

I want to be a safe place. Every girl wants to be seen as beautiful, but the amazing thing is that every women already is beautiful. Our problem lies in that we compare ourselves to each other.  I heard a guy say once, “Yes, guys are visual. But, every guy likes something different. Just like girls are attracted to different kinds of guys. So if you are trying so hard to be like or look like everyone else you are not going to be the women you were created to be. The man God has for you will be attracted to you. You don’t have to worry so much about that. Just be you.”

I love that, because isn’t that what every girl is after. To turn heads! I wish that wasn’t the case, and so much our the motive behind what we do as women, but it is. From the fall our desire would be “for the man.”  It’s a battle we daily fight, to not do things just to draw the attention of man.

I, like every other women, wants to seen as beautiful, but I have learned that true beauty truly does come from a heart at rest. The book Captivating is one I always go back to when I begin to find myself slipping to my old ways of doing things—in terms of being a women. I love the book because through it God reminds me where true beauty comes from. To stop chasing and striving, and rest.

True beauty speaks, invites, nourishes, comforts inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God.

True femininity calls forth true masculinity. We awaken it, arouse it in a way that nothing else on earth can even come close. No woman can tell you who you are as a man. Yes—a woman can offer a man so much. She can be his companion, his inspiration. But she cannot be the validation for his soul. A man goes to Eve to offer his strength. He does not go to her to get it.

The same is true for women. We can’t bring our question of am I beautiful to man. We are called to offer our beauty. Beauty flows from a heart a rest. You cannot look to him for the validation of your soul. But so many women do. If  I have a man, then I’m okay. Then I’m loved. No man can tell you who you are as woman. No man is the verdict on your soul. Only God can tell you who you are. Only God can speak the answer you need to hear. In love we can bring such deep joy and healing as we offer to one another our strength and beauty. We can—and should—offer this to one another. But our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other- for something only God can give.

Like I mentioned early, because of the fall there is not an ache in Eve (women) now that she tries to get Adam (men) to fill. There is an emptiness given to her to drive her back to God, but she takes to Adam (men) instead.

I say that all as a sort of prologue because we cannot talk about loving a man well—whoever he might me—until we see that we cannot look to him for things he cannot give. We cannot love Adam while we are looking o him to validate us. It will usher in too much fear. Or, we’ll give ourselves over to him in inappropriate ways, in a sort of sexual or emotional promiscuity, desperate for his attention. And we won’t be able to confront him and stand up to him when he needs that from us as well.

A woman wants to feel beautiful. The strength of a good man makes her feel so. A man wants to feel strong. The beauty of a good woman makes him feel so.

I say all this as a lead in to what I found written at the top of one of the pages in the book. It was something I had written. I had underlined what I am about to share and then wrote a simply prayer, “Lord, I want to be this kind of woman!”

“A woman’s whose heart is at rest invites others to rest. You find room for your soul. It expands. You can breathe again. You can rest. It is good. That is what it is like to be with a beautiful woman. You are free to be you. It is one of life’s greatest gifts. A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. Ultimately, woman invites us to know God. God is good, deep, lovely, alluring, Capturing!”

I am writing all this more as a reminder to me. If I don’t daily just allow my heart to rest in Jesus it then naturally becomes restless and anxious. Insecurity begins to rear its ugly head. But I am reminded that not only do I want to be the kind of woman’s who beauty flows from the inside out—from a heart at rest—for the sake of future husband. But, for everyone I come in contact with each day.

The phase that keeps coming to mind to describe the desire in my heart of the kind of woman I want to be is: “I want to be soft place and a safe place.” For some to see that word “alluring” maybe shocking, but you can be alluring by still classy and leave some mystery. I want my husband to stand at the end of aisle and be able to look back at me with some mystery still in his eyes. 

I give God all the glory for the work he has done in my heart over the years. The fact that I desire to be this kind of women, and not the kind that the world SCREAMS at me daily to be is a testament to how Jesus can change a heart.

Praying today that the Lord would bring me back to that place of allowing my beauty to flow from a heart at rest. To stop striving and rest in who I am and whose I am, and not to give into the desire to strive & be all the “world” tells me to be, but to be the classy women God has called me to be.

Yes, I said God wants you as a woman to be classy!

This generation of girls has no idea what that even means, sadly. The definition itself calls for having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior, graceful, stylish, elegant. Basically you know what you’re worth and you act like it & just have class.

It fuels me all the more to minister to this generation of young ladies. Not because I get it right all the time, because I don’t. I am just as pulled by the tide of the cultural, but I hope and pray that God would daily help me by the power of His Spirit to help me be a women at rest. A woman who has grace and class & who like the Proverbs 31 woman makes he man proud to have her on his arm. But more than anything, I want to be that kind of woman because it glorifies God & that is the deepest desire of my heart. To glory Him in all I do.

Not really sure how to end this post. I was simply in a reflective mood & have wanted to get some of these words down for a while. It just takes some time for them to make it from my heard to my heart to my hands!