Fatal Singleness

As my best friend and I sat on the phone talking, if I am honest, about how frustrated we (and many of our other single friends) are with guys. Guys say they want to be pursuers but many (not all) don't step up and pursue. Some seem to just want it dropped in their lap & for doves to descend before they'll ask a girl out for coffee...Lol. I am not bashing!! I know plenty of guys they are up for the task or pursuing a women, but I also know many who over-analyze it to death!  We use to think girls were the ones who over-analyzed and over-spiritualized dating but now the tables have begun to turn somewhat.

As a girl, we are taught that we are not to be the pursuer, “that’s the guys job” we are told! But what happens when there seems to be a generation of young men who are not stepping up? 

There is a problem when there are a bunch of single girls and single guys walking around. It doesn’t make since. Many people have an unrealistic expectation of what they want in a future spouse. NEW FLASH: this person will be a HUMAN!!!!

Anyway, as Jacinta and I went back and fourth about our frustrations right in the middle of talking Jacinta had a full on revelation that at almost the exact same time we both said, “oh my gosh. We need to be praying for the young men!”

Why?

Jacinta said something that NEVER EVER had occurred to me. She said something along these lines: what if Satan is also using singleness as a means to keep people from getting to together. He doesn’t want there to be godly marriages. He doesn’t want two people coming together as one for the glory of God, and having children and raising them to love Jesus and live for Him. So if he can just prolong singleness by making us: over-analyze, over-spiritualize, fear, doubt, selfish, self-righteousness, passivity, just get a generation of men addicted to pornography (girls too), unrealistic expectations, the list could go on...then he can keep godly marriages from even happening. Won't have to worry about trying to tear them apart, just make sure they never happen in the first place. Problem solved! 

I sat on the other end of the phone almost speechless!!! She was soooo right! It fueled us both to say, we need to stop talking about these guys and pray for them. Pray for this whole generation of young men!!!

That led us back to Adam and Eve. One of the reasons Eve ate from the apple was because Adam stood by and did nothing. The man stood by and just let her eat, and then took part in it. He didn’t exercise his headship. When God came looking for Adam and Eve he didn’t call for Eve…he called for Adam.

There is order in the economy of God. Part of that order is that men are called to be the head of the home. They are the spiritual leadership. I don’t have too much time to get into all of what that means, but that does not mean (ladies) that your boyfriend is the spiritual leader over you. You may see qualities in him that would make a good spiritual leader but until you are married he is not the one who makes decisions for the two of you. I will leave it at that.

But anyway, marriage is meant to be the Gospel on display so it does not surprise me that it would be under some series attack!!!! Marriage is under attack. Not just marriages (people that are already married) but marriage.

Not only does the enemy want to break up already existing marriages, but he want to see to it that they don’t even happen.

Yes, singleness can be a gift. Singleness can be a season. But, a lot of people are prolonging it much longer than they should. Some are choosing singleness. They can change their relationship status if they really wanted to, but they chose not to!!! 

If you are like Jacinta and I, you grew up in the I Kissed Dating Goodbye ,When God Writes Your Love Story &; True Love Waits  generation. But in a lot of ways it has come back to hurt us more than help us. Because you have yourself a bunch of single people in the early twenties-mid-thirties walking around wanting God to just drop someone in our laps who is “the one.”

If I am honest, I really don’t even believe in the whole “the one” theology anymore. The "one" you marry is "the one." I think we have over complicated something that really isn’t all that complicated. This generation has a 50% divorce rate, and so I really just think we're all just scared to death...or selfish. Maybe a little of both. 

The problem is we want to “know” before we will step out. Marriage is still a step of faith. We don’t know what the future holds and that scares us. So what do we do? Nothing!

I guess its frustrating as girl because I cannot do anything to make a guy step up. I have heard so many guys talk out of both ends of their mouths…girls too. I am not picking on the guys! Promise!!! I am not a man basher….Lol!

I am saying all this because Jacinta and I realized that we (all ladies) need to be praying for this generation of men, because they are under some series attack.

Pornography, passivity, homosexuality…just look around. Yes, women have our own battle on our hands, but we need to WAKE UP and realize what is going on.

There should not be so many single people! Singleness is a season. I jokingly like to say, “Singleness is a season not a sickness.” In some cases that is true. It’s not the fatal disease that some people treat it like it is. But maybe in some cases, if we are not careful and start fighting this battle on our knee, it could become fatal.

Just waking up to the truth of what the design for marriage is and realize that it is under attack. And maybe without even realizing it the Enemy is using: super-spiritual-singleness, or people choosing to just living together, or people choosing the homosexual lifestyle, as a means to just keep a generation from getting married and being the Gospel on display (Eph 5).

Jacinta and I use to joke and say we didn’t know why are parents were always so worried about us being single right now. But by the time she and I were done talking Jai (Jacinta) said, “now I am a little worried! We need to be praying!”

It was a wake up call to she and I that we need to stop “talking about” and start “praying for” our brothers in Christ. Waking up and realizing what really is going on!!!