Why Didn't They Text Me Back?

Why are they not texting me back?

Oh, how many times I have seen girls make comments  like that on twitter. Basically hinting at the fact that someone (probably a guy) won’t text them back. My best friend and I joke that texting is the worst thing in the world sometimes. Neither of us struggled with anxiety before texting (we joke).

We want to connect with others so bad, but we don’t want the intimacy. Now, I am not saying texting is wrong (I love it) that is not the point. But how many times have you sat by your phone just waiting on a text message to come through only to never get one in return.

I had this funny revelation just this morning when my best friend, of all people, texted me something. She was asking me if someone I had texted had replied yet. I simply told her, "no", and honestly I wasn’t even worried about it. The night before I found myself going to the “crazy place” because I wasn’t getting a reply. But, I had also texted a few other people about things and they hadn’t replied and I wasn’t getting all bent out of shape about them.

So what was my problem?

I was reading all into the “no response.” Allowing my mind to go places it didn’t need to go and had no reason to go. It wasn’t until the next morning when my best friend asked me that question that my own overreaction seemed so silly.

I simply told her that the person didn’t respond, and based on what I had sent they really didn’t have to. I mean, they could have, but it was more of statement than a question anyway. One that someone could easily of read and made a mental note, and just moved on. I teased her that she's my best friend and she doesn’t always respond to my text messages either and I don’t question our friendship, so why in the world would I question this friendship.

It was so silly, and only showed me my own insecurities.

It sounds so simple but I think we need the reminder from time to time that people’s lives do not revolve around us. If someone doesn’t text you back or call you back, and they normally would if it was important, then don’t freak out and go into all kinds of vain imagination. Realize that people have lives, and they are busy and as hard as it is to believe, texting you back may not be on the top of their list of things to do that day.

We are too easily offended and read way too much into things.

Maybe this is just for me, but I think it’s important to remember when texting someone,  if they don’t text you back don’t sit there and allow this wave of rejection to come over you. It’s just a text message. People have lives—if all your doing is sitting around waiting for people to text you back and getting mad and all bent out of shape when they don’t—you need a life.

I’m so thankful for the clear-headedness that comes in the morning. That simple reminder that it’s not all about you, and don’t’ read into people not responding to something as simply as a text message. I am blown away at the conflicts that arise because of facebook/twitter/text messages.

We (myself included) need to get back to learning how to communicate face-to-face with people. Facebook is great. So is twitter and texting. I am a fan of all of them, but when they replace basic communication skills (i.e. talking) there is a problem. If you don’t communicate with someone other than through texting/facebook/twitter there is a problem.

All you’re doing is interacting with a computer, not a person. All that to say, just don’t overreact about things like facebook/twitter/texting. But, also don’t hide behind those things either. When you find yourself about ready to go to the crazy place because someone didn’t respond when or how you wanted or maybe not at all. Remember, it’s not all about you.