Door-Holder for Life
Leverage "to use (a quality or advantage) to obtain a desired effect or result"
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.- Luke 12:48
For 26 years I have called what you see above home. Born and raised in the suburbs of Atlanta Georgia. I have to admit that ATL looks her best at night. Most big cities do. But when I look at this picture, besides being reminded of Passion 2013 I am reminded, that I have been given much!
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.- Luke 12:48
For 26 years I have called what you see above home. Born and raised in the suburbs of Atlanta Georgia. I have to admit that ATL looks her best at night. Most big cities do. But when I look at this picture, besides being reminded of Passion 2013 I am reminded, that I have been given much!
Thoughts
similar to this have been echoing in my heart for well over a year now. Over
the last year or so God has really given me new eyes. Since around last fall I
began to look at my city and the people I know in it very differently. I have
so much at my figure tips its ridiculous.
I
guess it really began even before Passion 2012. I wanted to attend, but I
wanted to do more than just attend. But, I wasn’t yet old enough to volunteer yet. I had
one more year that I could get away with attending as a student. God began to
put a longing in me to volunteer for Passion the following year. I have
worked/volunteered a lot of conferences around Atlanta. I absolutely love
everything about them: the planning, the chaos, the
atmosphere, sound checks, you name it…I love it. Even if I have NO IDEA what is
going on I still get excited when all I can do in the moment is sit and let the
production team and sound guys do their job. I sit in awe. Like a kid in a
candy store I sit on the edge of my seat watching as everything goes from an
idea/vision to reality. It’s pretty amazing.
But
the desire to serve at Passion was something more. I looked around and thought I am only a 30 minute drive (on a good day) from Passion City Church
& I go anytime I get the chance. There are so many amazing churches doing
amazing things in the city and suburbs or Atlanta for the glory of God.
Growing
up the way I did I have been very blessed to experience some of the things I
have. The more people I meet the more my eyes are open to see just how rare my
experience in the Church was growing up.
I
still can’t quite find the words to say all I want to because I don’t want it
to come off in anyway like bragging or name-dropping. That is not my heart at all. But I will say
this much God has blessed me tremendously. That is why I wanted to serve. I
wanted to hold the door for others to come in and experience what I have been
apart of in some way shape of form since I was in middle school.
This thought is what has been on my heart: leverage all God has given me and
take it somewhere else. I have moments that I feel almost selfish living in
Atlanta when there are so many people who would love to be in the position I am in. My
heart is simply this: I pray I get the opportunity one day to leverage the
experience and connections I have made over the years to help others do what God has called them to do. To simply help.
Sometimes
I feel like that kid at lunch whose mom packed two cookies and I am desperate to
share one. I don’t want to keep all this to myself. Praying these days for God
to open doors only he can open. To allow me to use what he has given me for His glory...somewhere that doesn't have so much. That doesn't have something like a Passion City around the corner. To whom
much is given much is required, and I have been given much.
I love when God makes himself, on occasion, perfectly clear. The last few days everything I have read has reminded me of something I already knew, but that is the beauty of the living Words of God, you can read something you've read 412 times and that 413th time you read it as if it's your first.
The last few weeks God has been reminding me that when Jesus was here on earth he didn't spend all this time with the "religious elite." He spent this time with broken people (i.e. tax collectors, beggars, prostitutes). The outcasts. He was ridiculed simply because of who he spent time with. The put-together, bright-and-shiney people would ask, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners? (Mark 2:16) And Jesus' would answer them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17).
Even this afternoon it was all I could do not scream when someone I worked with gave me what to her was "good" advice. Which by the way I didn't ask for. But none the less she felt she needed to give me her opinion and on advice on something.
Basically she wanted to "encourage" me to, "just think about you right now!"
My blood starting boiling!!!! I hadn't been in the best mood all week so I bit my lip. I knew what she meant but it just rubbed me the wrong way. I don't want to just think about me. Thats selfish. I simply want to go where God wants me to go and do what He wants me to do. I was not going to make any decision out of selfishness! That is what the world tells girls today. You go out and be independent and get yours. I hate that mentality. It's not about me or you! PERIOD!
I just desire to be obedient. To have the opportunity to share what I have learned and my experiences.
I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good and I want others to do so as well.
That is the heart behind being a Doorholder (volunteer) at the Passion Conference and why I wanted to be one so bad. The whole heart is basically I have been in the temple, I have been inside, and now I want to hold the door for the next generation to come in and experience the presence of God.
I would rather be a doorholder in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.-
(Ps 84:10)
The heartbeart of being a Passion Doorholder pretty much sums up what I desire to do these days. Not just at Passion, but with my life. To hold the door for the next generation, and sensing that most likely will mean not staying where it is comfortable. But going to kids and students who don't have 50 amazing churches around every corner and 100 Bible studies to chose from. My heart is to be somewhere were its much simpler. Where the things that I take for granted here in ATL are are treasures to others.
I remember this past fall trying to help my friend plan an event and I couldn't wrap my head around one thing she said to me, "this kind of thing doesn't happen here." I thought, "What thing? A concert! Really?"
It blew my mind that something I could easily plan, here in Atlanta in just a few months was so complicated there. I sat over coffee with my good friend back in November who was helping me with the concert at the time, and He I both just looked at each other ,as we talked about it, and were equally as confused as to why this was so difficult.
But its those towns that don't see the things I see every day or grew up experiencing that God is birthing a passion in me for and breaking my heart for. Even everything I have been reading in Scripture the past few weeks has reminded me how much I long for these places and these people. Some I know and some I don't.
A lot of prayers these days for the strength to finish what I started. To finish the task that was set before me a few years ago. Be obedient, and remain faithful to my commitments. But I sense in my spirit that a season is coming, the winds are beginning to change, and I won't be in my comfort zone much longer. I don't know what that is going to look like...but I am simply praying for God to open doors ONLY he can open! I can't believe after almost a year I can finally put some words to what I have been feeling. Praise the Lord!
Simply put: I want to be a Doorholder for the next generation.
I love when God makes himself, on occasion, perfectly clear. The last few days everything I have read has reminded me of something I already knew, but that is the beauty of the living Words of God, you can read something you've read 412 times and that 413th time you read it as if it's your first.
The last few weeks God has been reminding me that when Jesus was here on earth he didn't spend all this time with the "religious elite." He spent this time with broken people (i.e. tax collectors, beggars, prostitutes). The outcasts. He was ridiculed simply because of who he spent time with. The put-together, bright-and-shiney people would ask, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners? (Mark 2:16) And Jesus' would answer them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17).
Even this afternoon it was all I could do not scream when someone I worked with gave me what to her was "good" advice. Which by the way I didn't ask for. But none the less she felt she needed to give me her opinion and on advice on something.
Basically she wanted to "encourage" me to, "just think about you right now!"
My blood starting boiling!!!! I hadn't been in the best mood all week so I bit my lip. I knew what she meant but it just rubbed me the wrong way. I don't want to just think about me. Thats selfish. I simply want to go where God wants me to go and do what He wants me to do. I was not going to make any decision out of selfishness! That is what the world tells girls today. You go out and be independent and get yours. I hate that mentality. It's not about me or you! PERIOD!
I just desire to be obedient. To have the opportunity to share what I have learned and my experiences.
I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good and I want others to do so as well.
That is the heart behind being a Doorholder (volunteer) at the Passion Conference and why I wanted to be one so bad. The whole heart is basically I have been in the temple, I have been inside, and now I want to hold the door for the next generation to come in and experience the presence of God.
I would rather be a doorholder in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.-
(Ps 84:10)
The heartbeart of being a Passion Doorholder pretty much sums up what I desire to do these days. Not just at Passion, but with my life. To hold the door for the next generation, and sensing that most likely will mean not staying where it is comfortable. But going to kids and students who don't have 50 amazing churches around every corner and 100 Bible studies to chose from. My heart is to be somewhere were its much simpler. Where the things that I take for granted here in ATL are are treasures to others.
I remember this past fall trying to help my friend plan an event and I couldn't wrap my head around one thing she said to me, "this kind of thing doesn't happen here." I thought, "What thing? A concert! Really?"
It blew my mind that something I could easily plan, here in Atlanta in just a few months was so complicated there. I sat over coffee with my good friend back in November who was helping me with the concert at the time, and He I both just looked at each other ,as we talked about it, and were equally as confused as to why this was so difficult.
As I have read through Colossians and 1 & 2 Thessalonians over the last few weeks by heart is all but pulled out of my chest as I read Pauls' words to the churches Colossae and Thessalonica How he longs for them, and misses them and is praying for them. It's exactly how I feel.
A lot of prayers these days for the strength to finish what I started. To finish the task that was set before me a few years ago. Be obedient, and remain faithful to my commitments. But I sense in my spirit that a season is coming, the winds are beginning to change, and I won't be in my comfort zone much longer. I don't know what that is going to look like...but I am simply praying for God to open doors ONLY he can open! I can't believe after almost a year I can finally put some words to what I have been feeling. Praise the Lord!
Simply put: I want to be a Doorholder for the next generation.
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