Flirting?

I decided on this lovely, lazy Saturday I would go out and do some shopping---always a favorite pass time of mine (even if I don’t buy anything). As I was standing in the check out line at Old Navy, the girl at the check out made me smile and I tried not to laugh as she decided to unload on the lady in front of me about how she doesn’t know how to flirt. 

The guy that had just left, who I didn’t really get a good look at, but according to her was gorgeous with a capital “G” she had tried to flirt with, and in her mind she didn’t know how to flirt because the cute guys that came through her line that she would try and flirt with didn’t ask her out, therefore she was “flirting retarded” according to her. She just unloaded on this nice lady and the lady nicely engaged in the conversation and was trying to encourage her. By the time she got me to me, I have to be honest I was hoping she just got all her venting out…because I didn’t want to be as honest with her as I wanted to be. But nope, she decided to tell me all about the guy that just left and how cute he was, and that she doesn’t know how to flirt. That she needed to learn how to flirt, I tried to politely just check out and node occasionally as she talked all the while it taking everything in me not to say, “Flirting isn’t hard. You just have to have confidence, but more than that don’t be desperate and flirt with every guy that comes through your check out line.” But, I didn’t think it was the time or place for that.

As I walked to my car, I just smiled and thought about what she was telling her co-workers as I walked through the door, “I need to learn how to flirt.”

Learn how to flirt? I never remember having to learn how to flirt. You either have chemistry with someone or you don’t. You don’t want to through yourself at a guy...but the first thing that popped in my head when I got in my car as I mulled over that question was: Confidence.

You have to be confident in who you are in Christ and what you can offer. I like to call it humble-confidence. You know who you are in Christ, and how you deserve to be treated. You are confident in your indemnity in Christ and can hold your head high and look a guy in the eye because you are not looking to him to tell you who you are. There is a soul deep security that has to come from Christ alone. 

You have respect for yourself, and don’t through yourself and bat your eyes at every cute guy that pays you attention.

I wanted so bad to tell this sweet girl that most of the guys that come through her line are probably did  not go to Old Navy looking for a date this evening.

On the way back from a girls ministry retreat my friend Sarah asked me the funniest question—I mean it was good, just funny. Sarah is married and was simply asking my friend Natalie and I “how do you meet guys?” She wasn’t trying to get advice, but was talking about that if she ever had to be out in the dating world again she wouldn’t know where to begin. I just laughed and I said, “I don’t know.” You just get out and live life, do what you love, and you meet people along the way. Some you just happen to be attracted to. You have to be willing to get to know someone. Girls tend to want there to be something immediately instead of just letting friendship blossom into whatever it is going to become.

Anyway, I wish so much I could go back to Old Navy and ask that sweet girl to sit down with me over coffee. I would first want to know if she knows Christ, then if she does to tell the key to flirting, not that I am expert, but a good place to start in confidence in who you are what you have to offer.

I just thought it was so funny, and so sweet. She was just captivated by that guy and wanted him so bad to ask her out from across that counter. From the glance I got of him he seemed that he was just being polite, but really he just wanted to purchase his things and leave, not flirt!

 Be confident in who you are and whose you are. Know what you have to offer, and have your own life (job, friends, hobbies, interests). If a guy isn’t interested it’s not you and it’s not him. You have to be confident in your value and worth in Christ and know that doesn’t change, because our God doesn’t change. Your worth is secure whether you are being pursued or not.

Just some food for thought! ;)

Ladies, don’t be desperate.