Coffee Talk

Matt 5:16  “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven,”

As we sat there talking, simply just getting to know each other we both opened up a lot about our pasts. It was the first time I had really shared with someone other than my best friend some of the things I shared. It never fails that I have this flood of peace come over me whenever we hang out. I have never experienced anything like it. It really is the peace of God guarding my heart. But, as we talked and I shared my past about my High school days I was simply reminded how far God has brought me, but also all that he kept me from. 

When I look at my past it is by the grace of God I didn’t get into more trouble than I did in high school when I look at who my friends were. I can tell you right now I didn’t make an impact for Christ in high school. I was way more interested in being popular and turning a guys head than I was living for Christ.

I think when people see me now they are surprised, maybe, to find out that in high school I use to cuss like a sailor at school and push the limits when it came to the dress code. I walked a thin line. I played two roles. I was one way at Church and one way at school. It’s not all that uncommon. But, I was a “good girl” in the since that I didn’t drink, do drugs, or sleep around… but I still played with fire (if you get my drift).

As we talked I simply said I don’t like when people label me as a “good girl” because I know me and I know what I have done, and he said, “but as far as labels go, that’s what you are, and that’s okay. That’s what you want.”

I guess it’s hard for me to swallow that “good girl” pill because I know if I have done anything good it is Christ in me. I do not have a righteousness of my own.

I remember when it all turned around for me. I share this all the time, but when I was 18 years old and the revelation came that my purpose was to live for the glory of God it so shifted everything in my life. I now had a purpose behind why I did or didn’t do certain things. I was created for the glory of God (Isa 43:7).

As I came across (Matt 5:16) it hit me that is my life verse. Because I don’t want people to see my good works and pat me on the back, but I want them to give God the glory. The choice to wait on the Lord, for example, is not one that is easy and I am the first one to tell you the narrow road is not the easy road, but it’s the only road worth taking that leads to life. We were not called to “easy” we were called to purpose.

But with the whole waiting thing, it’s one aspect of my story and only one decision out of many that I make because I desire to glorify God with my life. Not out of obligation or religious duty…but out of love. Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross it is my joy to live for him and to make much of him.

I share little parts of my story as needed. If sharing some aspect of my journey helps someone else or simply allows someone else to let their walls down, realizing I don’t have it all together either, then I don’t mind. I never for a second what anyone to think I have it all together, because I don’t.

As my friend and I talked that was one of the things I shared with him, about the waiting thing is, I never want girls to think it hasn’t been a struggle as times. That I haven’t cried out to the Lord in, “bitterness of soul” (1 Samuel 1:10).

What I am finding is that most people have this thing Beth Moore calls, “A Prominent False Positive.”

“A prominent false positive: one thing that we think would make us more secure in all things. You want to know how to pinpoint your own prominent false positive? The thing you tend to associate with security? Think of a person you believe to be secure (has it all together) and determine what earthly thing he or she has that you don’t feel like you possess, at least in matching measure. That’s liable to be your prominent false positive. (pp 36-37 So Long Insecurity)

I have no control over what others think of me. I am slowly coming to that place of if I have the Lord’s approval that’s really all I need. I can’t chase man’s acceptance. That is an exhausting race that I will never win. But, my friend was so sweet in encouraging me to not  be ashamed of my story. Yes, even though I have had my bumps in the road he said, “but you have persevered though!” Yes I have, and I give God all the glory!

I am finding that it my story… “That it can be done! But, only in Christ alone!” I don’t take any credit for any of the good in my life-- It’s Christ in me alone!

I can’t explain it all, just that when you have the Holy Spirit living you your desires change! Doesn’t mean you are not tempted, and no longer have the things of the world pulling at your coattails it just means you are no longer held captive by sin. You can make choices that honor the Lord, as before you couldn’t. That’s what I wish girls and guys understood. If there is a way to shout through a computer this is what I would shout…

IT’S NOT ME  DOING THE GOOD!!!!!!!!!IT’S JESUS CHRIST IN ME! !!!!!!!!!

It’s allowing him to transform you from the inside out. The song “inside out” by Hillsong became by forever prayer, almost an anthem to me, all those years ago in Panama City, FL at Big Stuf Camp. It put words to the cry of my heart from that moment to now! 

“A thousand times I fail, still your mercy remains. Should I stumble again, I'm caught in your grace. My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control. Consume me from the inside out, Lord. Let justice and praise become by embrace, to love you from the inside out. Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Neverending, your glory goes beyond all fame, and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out to you!”

 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven,” – Matt 5:16