Don't Let Jealously Steal Your Season

It wasn't that long ago that I was a 30-year old single young lady. I was beginning to come to grips with the idea that I might not ever get married, and would that be okay? If that was God's plan for me, then He would have to be the one to sustain me because the very idea of that was a hard pill to swallow. 

On the good days, I rested in the fact that if this was the plan of God then it was for my best. No matter if I understood it or not. That didn't mean I didn't get out there and go on dates and get to know new people and see where God would lead it. Rejection after rejection leaves it's scarves, but even admits those moments of rejection, of God shutting a door so I could walk into something even better, there was a quite trust under all the tears that knew that God wanted what as best for me--whatever that looked like. His best might not look like I thought. All I knew was, in the quiet of my heart, when I sat before the Lord, when I was all cried out, when I  laid my junk at Jesus' feet and just came before the Father's throne of grace, when I was just honest---I wanted His best. 

But...other times...

I would be lying if I acted like the 30-years of waiting were easy--that I walked them flawlessly. Because I certainly did not. One of the things that I will admit I was guilty of was being jealous of those who had what I so deeply desired. It wasn't always an ugly jealousy you could see, but it was very much in my heart at times. I would put on a good face, but behind closed doors, in certain conversations it would rear it's ugly head. It might come show up in a bitter/cynical tone or attitude. Don't get me wrong I was truly happy for my friends, but it was hard for me to fully embrace people in their exciting seasons because I was so focused on the fact that they had something I wanted. 

However, I heard a testimony from DawnCher'e Wilkerson (co-Pastor of Vous Church in Miami, FL). She said something that just struck a cord with me, and I'd wished I'd heard it sooner  (link to the testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G79bYjW05tg&feature=share)

She was talking in regards to infertility, and how did she handle seeing other woman getting pregnant or having to attend baby showers. How she as able to celebrate these other woman all while struggling to get pregnant? 

She said when they first started trying 8-yrs ago it was hard at times to be happy for those who were being blessed with what she and her husband desired so deeply, but then God spoke a word to her heart one day. The Lord reminded her that He was writing her story. She could either live they're story or hers? Their story/journey was not hers, it was their's. When she finally came around the truth that "I have my own unique story and journey with God, and it's not like any else's" she was able to celebrate those who had she desired. Because that was their journey to motherhood. Their journey to marriage. Their journey to the dream job...etc. She'd go to the baby showers and celebrate those beautiful mommas. She wasn't going to miss out on celebration and community. 

I'd heard before about making the most of your single season. Get out there and serve and use all the time you have for the Lord. Undistracted and Undivided. But what do you do when you desire something so deeply that the desire itself becomes a distraction? What do you do when the longing and pain of a desire unmet makes it hard to (in our flesh) celebrate others who God seems to be blessing in that area? 

Sadly, wish I'd learned this sooner. Yes, you do have the beautiful gift of time, but you also have the beautiful gift of community. There are people/ friends around you in a variety of seasons, and we need to be better about celebrating those people in their different season.

It does us no good to envy. It does us no good to be jealous, bitter or cynical. It takes great faith to push past our flesh and choose to bless and champion those who have what we don't yet hold ourselves. 

When we do take our eyes off ourselves and what we think we lack, my prayer is that we will begin to see all we have to be thankful for. Thankful for what we do have. Thankful for the blessings of God. Blessing of life, love, and community. Thankful for Jesus--the giver of all good things. We have all we need in Jesus--truly. Everything else is icing on the cake. Crowns to lay at his feet. 

Lately I've been reading the book "Daring to Hope" by Katie Davis Majors. One of the things she mentioned in her book as well as something I read in my quiet time this week was...that we serve a God who comforts us so that we can comfort those who need to be comforted. We can comfort them with the same comfort we received--that is Jesus. 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, "who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ- (2 Cor. 1:3-5 )

When I first read those verses I knew God was speaking to my heart, but wasn't sure exactly about what. Praise God, I'm not exactly in a season of suffering (all though I've had my fair share of difficult seasons). I wasn't sure until I started writing this blog. 

I've been with the man of my dreams 6-months today. This time 6-months ago I was getting reading to go on a date that (little did I know) would change my entire life in the blink of an eye. Within a few short days I would go from single to "in a relationship" and the trajectory of my life would look very different--and I am so thankful. 

Sometimes in the fog of falling in love, it's easy to forget the season that came before it. Easy to forget what it was like. Easy to forget all the tears, pain and prayers. It can be easy to forget how far the Lord has brought you. But as I begin to walk towards this new season, I want to be better about looking back at how far the Lord has brought me and comfort others in the same way God comforted me in my trouble. 

I am still young, and the world is still broken, and as much as I love Adam we are both imperfect and I know marriage will have it's ups and downs just like the rest of life--I by no means think I am out of the woods of experiencing trouble and difficult seasons. But waiting on God for his best was long and at times a very very painful season. 

So I want to encourage those of you in any kind of wait. Lets bet better about celebrating those around us who seem to be getting what we so desperately desire. Thank God for blessing them, Pray continued blessing--you of all people should be their prayer warrior. Encourage them. Celebrate what God has done. Then watch God begins to transform your heart. 

God is writing your story. Your unique, one of a kind, story. Get to know the Father's heart. Lean in. Trust Him. His timing is perfect. His ways are perfect. Yes, walk by faith. Believe God for the impossible. Pour out your heart before him...but surrender. It's one of the most beautiful and best things I ever did was surrender my plans to God. I was already saved, but 6-years ago at a beach in Destin, FL with my family I laid it down. I laid down my dreams, my plans, the way I thought my life was suppose to look, who I was "suppose" to marry, ALL OF IT, and let God be God. I can tell you, it has not been easy but I wouldn't trade the ride for anything in this world. Yes, I am engaged now and it's a beautiful season! I love and adore my man, but I wasn't always engaged. I as single for 30-years. God was writing a story. I needed only trust. 

Celebrate. God is good.