More Than You Could Ask or Dream
"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."- (Eph. 3:20-21 MSG)
“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s Decree."- (Isa.55:8 MSG)
Not sure why I feel the need to write this, but I'm going to try and not question it--I'm just going to go with it. I'm just going to come right out and say what's on my heart tonight. My hope is that this will encourage someone, and help them be courageous.
"Yes, it is super important to have standards & boundaries in a relationship ,but be careful that your expectations of the kind of person whom you want to be with are not higher than God ever planned to go give you. Let me explain.
The goal for you and I is to grow in Christ-likeness. Therefore, God is going to give you...who you need as a partner.
Here are some things to think about if your tossing around the idea of pursing a relationship with someone: Does the person you're interested in help make you more or less like Jesus?
Is what attracts me to this person going to last? Is what draws me to this person something that will matter in 20 years? Or the opposite could be true, is what makes me hesitant to pursue this something that is going to matter in 20 or 30 years? Is what makes you push back from pursuing someone because of your own fears or insecurities?
If we are honest, some of things we "want" or "expect" or would "prefer" in all honesty really don't matter in the big scheme of things. Are we more shallow than we'd like to admit?
I remember I use to be afraid God was going to make me marry someone I wasn't attracted to, but then as I grew up I realized that A) I have a choice in whom I will date. I'm not a robot. God has given me His spirit. I need to ask for and use wisdom and discernment, but God has given me free will. B) Most people are not going to marry someone they are not attracted to.
Being physically attracted to someone matters, but even the physical beauty fades. It might be what catches your attention initially, but there has to be something more, deeper, to keep someone's attention over time. What will make a relationship and eventually a marriage last is not because you both stop traffic with your dashing good looks. If that were the case Hollywood would have the longest lasting, and happiest marriages around. Beauty does fade, but even as you get older your definition of what is truly beautiful changes. Don't use that as an excuse not to take care of yourself and take pride in how you look, we are the temples of God, but it's not what sustains a relationship.
I just thought of something Pastor Steven from Elevation said this past Sunday when teaching on the life of David. When we read the description of David, his appearance is mentioned, but it's mentioned last. But if you go and look, just a few verse before (1 Sam. 16:7) we read that God doesn't look at outward appearances, he looks at the heart. But then we read that David was "good-looking" (1 Sam. 16:18). So which is it? We are told that yes, David is handsome. But if you look at (1 Sam 16:18) his appearance is the second to last of the adjectives Saul's advisors use in describing David.
Although he was attractive his appearance was not what made him qualified to be anointed King!
He was not anointed because he was handsome...he was the man God chose to be the next king because of his heart--he just also happened to be handsome to boot. Like an added bonus.
I've been on this relationship kick lately--not sure why. I just don't want someone to miss something or someone that could very well be God's best for them, because they don't look or act the way you thought. I don't want anyone to miss out on something great because it doesn't fit your "ideal"(aka..IDOL) of a person. I'm not saying settle. Please, have standards and boundaries, but some of us are just too picky or too shallow. I'm just being honest!
Not sure why I felt the need to share this, but maybe there is someone who is on the fence of whether to take that leap of faith and courage towards pursuing a relationship...I don't know. I'm far from a relationship expert, but what I have learned and seen is that many of us either make excuses sound "godly" but are just excuses if we are honest with ourselves or we have expectations that are so far from what God wants for us. God is not interested in your conglomerate dream person...God wants to give you who HE KNOWS you need. His will for your life and mine, at the end of the day, is our sanctification. Does this person, truly, love Jesus? Do they challenge you and make you better?
I'm not married, but I have plenty of friends and family that are, as I'm sure you do too. It's been made pretty clear to me that marriage is hard, marriage is work, but I think sometimes many of use fail to see it is also a gift. You don't or didn't have to get married. No one put or is putting a gun to your head. But, if it is something you've made or are thinking of making the choice to pursue know that ,yes , it is going to be a challenge (in many ways) but I truly believe it also one of the biggest blessings.
So chose well, and don't get married just to get married. Marry someone who makes you better--points you to Jesus. Someone who you can do more for the glory of God together than apart. Doesn't mean it's easy. Relationship, of any kind, are not easy. Believe it or not though, that is what makes them so special. I think that's why we cherish them so. They do take effort. Anything worth having is worth working for. Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.
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