Do They Make You Better?

There are days when I wonder what kind of wife I will be one day.

Thoughts like these use to run through my mind much more than they do now. Not because I’ve given up hope, but God has taught me the gift that marriage is, not the goal that many (myself included for years) see it as.

I’m sure I have written many a post on waiting, dating, and marriage.

Relationships are one my favorite topics to talk about. We were created for relationship-- first with Christ, then with each other.

Years ago my friend and I got on this topic about marriage and how so many women LIVE and I mean LIVE for their wedding day. But something in both of us that night, as we talked, realized...ya know, its’ just a day.

A beautiful day? YES! An exciting day? YES! A celebratory day of what Christ has united? YES! I love weddings. But, sometimes we get so caught up in the day we forget the reason FOR the day.

In the movie “Baggage Claim” one of the main characters said something that rang so true to me. He said, “The miracle isn’t in getting married, its in staying married.”

A lot of people GET married ...very few STAY married.

When I think about my wedding day, one day, I know it will be a celebration. I pray that more than anything that Jesus is lifted higher than any other name. 

Marriage is not just about us (as many try to make it out to be) its about Jesus. Marriage is a reflection to a watching and lost world of Christ and the church (His Bride).

For years I carefully crafted in my mind who my “dream guy” would be. But a few years ago God had me lay that down my "ideal." Not because what I desired was bad, but because I was missing the point of marriage. One of its designs being.

Sanctification!

Simple put, sanctification means to be made holy, set apart, To be made more like Jesus Christ. We are all a work in progress. All of us in Christ are at a different place in our sanctifying process, but never doubt for a moment that God isn't doing a work in each of us to make us more like His Son.

The question on my heart tonight is this, “Do they make you better?” 

When God showed me that one of the purposes of any relationship, but specifically marriage in this case, was part of the sanctifying process it changed EVERYTHING FOR ME!

The weight that waiting had become for me was lifted in that moment.

I began to see that Marriage was part of the journey, not the destination itself. I had been living for a moment, a "certain person" to come along and knock me off my feet. It was one of the many good and at time hard things that God uses to shape and mold us into His likeness.

Many girls, and a few guys, view marriage that way—as the destination.

Part of the reason this was such a revelation was because I had been wrestling with the phrase, “wait on God’s best.” If I’m honest, I came to a point when I asked the question: “What does that even mean, anyway?”

I had said it myself, but I had no clue. It sounded great, but what did God’s best look like? I’ve said it before but God’s best for you is NOT you’re “list” of 77 things you want in your future spouse. 

Does God care about the desires of your heart? yes, absolutely. But as we delight in the Lord our desires change. You begin to desire what God wants for you. Another post for another day. 

God is going to give you who you need!!!!

I really wasn’t sure where this post was going to end up, but after watching a video tonight about a couples love story, it was reminder of what marriage is really all about. 

 Someone who is going to stand by your side in the good and bad. When life is hard and when life is great! You laugh and cry, and don't throw in the towel because of  one bump in the road. 

Last spring while I was in Valdosta helping at a women’s event, I laid down on my bed in my hotel room, about to fall sleep, and I remember thinking, “I want to be the kind of wife who is a safe place to fall.”  

I won’t be the perfect wife. I won't. There is NO SUCH THING! No matter how you try to prepare for marriage, you won’t be ready (I'm not trying to be negative, just real). That doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare, it just means you won't have it all figured out the day of your wedding and "feel" completely ready.That's actually suppose to be part of the fun believe it or not--the not knowing. 

It’s like studying for a major test. You’ve studied as hard as you can, prepared the best you know how, but chances are you will get to something in the course of that exam that you were not prepared for. That’s life, it throws us curve balls, but we have Jesus!

Again, that is the beauty of marriage. Its two IMPERFECT People (remember that, because I think a lot of people forget they are not marrying the embodiment of perfection...Lol). 

Girls (this one is for free) NO GUY IS GOD! Guys, same for you. NO GIRL IS GOD. 

But two people under the same root, two people with pasts, two people with good and bad habits, two people God loves, died for, and is working on individually, but now you have become one flesh—you’ve joined forces. Yes, out of love for each other, but also to glorify God. 

It really is a beautiful thing.