Joseph, Did You Know?
God is just as purposeful about what
he doesn’t reveal as He is about what he does reveal.” –Beth Moore
So often when reading what we call
“The Christmas Story” we talk a lot about Mary and her obedience. Which we
rightfully should, she gave birth to the Son of God, Jesus! What God called her
to do was HUGE--to carry and give birth to the Savior of the world. But I
sometimes think we tend to leave someone out, Joseph.
I don’t hear people talk about him
too much. But there is so much that we can learn from this man. Mary was the
mother of Jesus, but Joseph was Jesus’ earthly father. Mary didn’t walk this
road alone.
A few years ago I was asked to teach
at an FCA at one of the local high schools in my area. It was around Christmas
time and so I asked the president of this particular school’s FCA what she
would like me to teach on. She wondered if I could talk about the birth of
Jesus, you know, “the nativity story” but she wanted me to teach on something
from that story that wasn’t usually talked about. The Nativity Story with a
twist I guess you could say. Not changing the story, just digging deeper and
seeing what lessons we could learn from the story that maybe we don’t hear as
often.
I was up for the challenge, and so
almost immediately when I got home I grabbed my Bible and opened it to Matthew
chapter 1. As I began to read, what stood out to me, that I had never really
noticed, was Joseph’s obedience regardless of what it was going to cost him. I
had such a great time talking to the students a few weeks later about Joseph’s
obedience. I challenged them, and myself, with this question: are we willing to
be obedient no matter the cost?
But here recently I have been
thinking about the story of Mary and Joseph again. The beauty of the Word of
God is that it is alive and active. You can read the same story a hundred times
and get something new out of it every time. And that was the case for me with
this narrative in scripture. One night the Lord really impressed on my heart to
go read the story of Mary of Joseph. As I began to read their story again I
noticed something I hadn't notice before. Mary was obedient and seemed to
just leave Joseph to God!
We talk a lot about the public
disgrace she was most likely endured because she was found pregnant out of
wedlock. But, in (Luke 1) we see that after the Angel left her what did she do?
Almost immediately went where? To her cousin Elizabeth’s house.
She didn’t go find Joseph and talk to him about it. I’m sure he crossed her
mind, but he also seems to be the furthest thing from her mind at the same
time. She is too busy praising the Lord for the favor he has shown her by
choosing her to be the women to carry and give birth to the Savior of the
World. Joseph defiantly became an after thought to her it seems.
Lately as I have been studying about
their journey the thought that keeps coming to mind is this, “she was busy
doing what she was called to do and left Joseph to God.” There is no doubt
she had rumors being spread about her, and people were most likely in Joseph’s
ear when it came to her and what he should or shouldn’t do.
It wasn’t Mary’s job to convince him
that the child she was carrying was the Son of God, The Savior of the World,
the Messiah. She knew the truth, and she seemed to simply leave the convincing
Joseph…to God. She was obedience and left the consequences up to the LORD.
But this is where I want us to take a
step back for a moment. Take a step out of Mary’s sweet darling shoes and lets
put ourselves in Joseph’s manly sandals for a second. I not only learned so
much about Joseph but so much more about our God. One of the main things I learned
was this: Our God is sovereign over
the hearts of man. God can change anyone’s heart!
“The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the
Lord; he guides it wherever he pleases”(Prov. 21:1).
"In his
heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” –(Prov. 16:9)
"Many are the
plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purposes that prevails.”- (Prov.
19:21)
There is nothing I love more in a
story then when it looks like things are going one way, then God steps in, and
in a moment the entire direction of the story changes! That is what happened
for Mary and Joseph!
This is how the birth of
Jesus the Messiah came about His mother Mary was pledged to be married to
Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the
Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was
faithful to the law, and yet
did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But
after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a
dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary
home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy
Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the
name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took
place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet “The
virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”
(which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel
of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did
not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him
the name Jesus.
– (Matt 1:18-25 NIV emphasis
mine)
That phrases, “he had in mind” in the
Greek word for “planned” boulomai(v) :intended, of his own will (blue letter
Bible) Other translations may say:
-“Determined” (Message)
-“So he decided” (NLT)
-“Resolved” (ESV)
Basically, Joseph had pretty much
made his mind up as to what he was
going to do when it came to Mary. His decision was made carefully. He didn’t
want to disgrace her. He was being faithful
to the law. He made the logical (to
him) decision.
Scripture tells us a lot about the
kind of man he was, and how he felt towards Mary. He didn’t want humiliated
her! He wanted what was going to be best for her under the circumstances. He
also couldn’t marry her (so he thought) but that didn’t mean he wanted to shame
her. To be determined or resolved means it was going to take a
lot, something like an Angel coming to
him in a dream, to change his mind about what he was going to do.
“He was a righteous man” – He
was doing what to him seemed the “right thing.” Because he loved her he didn’t
want to “make her a public example, or want to disgrace her” (NKLV) (NASB). His
decision was logical. It made sense to him. Scripture is quick to remind us of
the kind of man Joseph was. He wasn’t making the decision to divorce Mary
because he was some jerk. He was a good and godly man, who feared the Lord. He
was called a “just and righteous man.” He was a man of integrity, sensitive to
God’s guidance and ready to do God’s will; as we see that in (vs. 24)
So, in the moment he was doing what
seemed like the right thing to do. Lets do a little history lesson shall we to
maybe understand Joseph and the culture he found himself in:
Jewish men in Joseph's day generally
married around the age of eighteen or twenty, after working to save some money.
Jewish women could marry as young as twelve or fourteen, upon reaching puberty though,
like Greek and Roman women, they could be married much older.
Like most first-century Jewish people,
Joseph was faithful to his future spouse in advance, awaiting marriage, and he
expected the same in return. Infidelity is always unjust, whereas divorce is
just under some circumstances. Because Matthew wrote his Gospel as a whole, his
narratives often illustrate principles that he teaches more explicitly in other
contexts, and this is one such case (see 5:32).
For Joseph to "put Mary
away" (1:19, literally) meant for Joseph to divorce her (NIV). Ancient
Mediterranean fathers generally arranged their daughters' marriages through a
custom called betrothal. Betrothal was much more serious than our modern
practice of "engagement": it left the survivor of the man's death a
widow, and if both partners lived it could be ended only by divorce. Yet
though Joseph was preparing to divorce Mary, the text calls him righteous.
At the same time we should observe
that the circumstances under which Joseph was planning to divorce Mary were
hardly light. Unlike today, Joseph had no option of giving Mary a second chance,
even if he wanted to. Jewish and Roman law both demanded that a man divorce his
wife if she were guilty of adultery. Roman law actually treated a husband who
failed to divorce an unfaithful wife as a panderer exploiting his wife as a
prostitute.
Further, Joseph had another reason to
divorce her. Because others would assume that Joseph himself must have gotten
her pregnant unless he divorced her, his reputation was at stake for the rest
of his life. Joseph probably also did not know Mary as well as we would expect
of engaged couples today and had little reason to trust her innocence. Joseph
hence experiences the pain of betrayal, the breach of a contract more binding
than a business deal in his culture. Because a wife's adultery could imply the
husband's inadequacy or his family's poor choice of a mate, Mary's apparent
unfaithfulness shamed Joseph as well.
Under these circumstances, Joseph
would be righteous in divorcing Mary; to fail to do so would violate law and
custom, would bring enduring reproach on his household and would constitute
embracing as wife one who had betrayed him in the worst manner conceivable in
his culture.
Joseph was righteous not because he
was divorcing Mary (although, as noted, this did not make him unrighteous);
rather, Joseph was righteous for divorcing Mary quietly or privately-that is,
for not bringing unnecessary shame on her. He knew suffering already awaited
her: her premarital pregnancy had likely already ruined any chance of her ever
marrying, a horrible fate in an economically and honor-driven male-centered
society.
Yet Joseph could have profited by
divorcing Mary publicly. By taking her to court, Joseph could have impounded
her dowry-the total assets she brought into the marriage-and perhaps recouped
the bride price if he had paid one at betrothal. By simply providing her a
certificate of divorce in front of two or three witnesses, he would forfeit
this economic reimbursement-simply to minimize her public dishonor.
Joseph's "justness" or
"righteousness" reminds us that justice is not merely a matter of
punishment and shame but also a matter of mercy. Joseph was going to divorce
Mary, but wounded though he felt, he would do everything in his power to
minimize her shame.
Joseph values commitment to God above
his own honor, another principle. When God reveals the truth to Joseph, he
immediately believes and obeys God's will, unbelievable as the truth would seem
without a deep trust in God's power. Joseph trusted God enough to obey him. Yet
such obedience was costly. Because Joseph married Mary, outsiders would assume
that he had gotten Mary pregnant before the wedding. Joseph would remain an
object of shame in a society dominated by the value of honor. This was a
stressful way to begin a marriage! By waiting to have intercourse (1:25), hence
failing to provide the bloody sheet that would prove Mary's virginity on the
wedding night (Deut 22:15). Mary and Joseph also chose to embrace shame to
preserve the sanctity of God's call.
Joseph's obedience to God cost him
the right to value his own reputation. Many Christians today, probably much
older than Joseph and claiming the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives,
have yet to learn this lesson.” (IVP New Testament
Commentary)
Just because something, logically,
makes since and seems like the “right” thing to do doesn’t always mean it’s the
God thing to do. Actually most of the time God will call us or ask us do
something that doesn’t make sense at all to us…in the moment. It’s not about
trying to figure it all out or having all the answers, it is simply being
obedient and walking by faith!
“Feelings are not always accurate measures of the rightness or
wrongness of an action.” (NLT Study Bible)
It makes me wonder how he found out
about Mary though, and how long he had to come to a decision?
Because, in Luke 1:39 (msg) it says,
“Mary didn’t waste a minute…”
It seems almost immediately she
travel to Judea in the hills to visit her cousin Elizabeth. Girl had things to
do! I guess talking to Joseph (her fiancé) was not one of them. She didn’t stop
to talk it over with Joseph. He really was a second thought to Mary. I'm sure
she prayed for him, but he wasn't her main concern.
I just have this imagine in my head
that as Mary is off singing about being chosen to be the mother of the Messiah
(Luke 1:46-56), Joseph is off somewhere either having no idea what is going on
yet, or in a dead sweat trying to figure out how to divorce her quietly.
Mary is rejoicing over what the Lord
is doing and is going to do, and Joseph is trying his best to “fix” what he
sees as a problem. My guess is Mary maybe told Joseph, but I am pretty sure
that everyone else got in his ear before she could get a word in edge wise. I
wonder if he had really prayed about or if he was doing what would have
been customary to do in that time if a women was found unmarried and pregnant.
He didn't really have to pray too hard about what he should do. He went into
problem solving mode. It just makes me wonder what was going through Joseph’s
mind.
If you notice in (Luke 1:20) it says,
“But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him…” Joseph
had a plan; a very logical plan. It made since, but…God had a better one. God
was
the only one who could change
Joseph’s mind and heart. No one, not even Mary could do it. It was going to
have to be God. I also wonder, go with me here, if Mary knew that.
Joseph must have obviously loved Mary, and wanted to marry her. But he knew
what believing her and marrying her were going to cost him. I love what the
Angel of the Lord told Joseph, “don’t be afraid to take marry as your wife…”
Most guys (I’ve been told) have that
moment when it’s coming down to the wire of, “okay am I going to commit to this!
Yep, I’m going to do it. Oh, my gosh!” I don’t think girls realize (I don’t care
how cool they play it off) most guys freak out when it's coming down to that
moment of: Do I commit to her FOREVER or not?
Joseph was probably not only a little
nervous about getting married in and of itself, but add that the woman you are
suppose to marry shows up pregnant (and it’s not yours) that adds a whole new
level of fear. God new Joseph was probably staring up at the ceiling at night
mind racing as to what he should do.
But the moment God told Joseph “don’t
be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by
the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he
will save his people from their sins.” He woke up and did what the Angel of
the Lord commanded. He had no hesitation what’s so ever! He got his green
light! I also bet there was some MAJOR relief. He was probably already excited
to marry her. Deep down he probably didn’t want to divorce her, but he had no
choice according to the culture and laws. But he got a hall pass from God—so to
speak—and he was able to marry Mary anyway.
He wanted to be obedient, but what I
love is that in being obedient, God also gave Jospeh a desire of his heart,
Mary. Bonus: He would be the earthy father to the Messiah. WOW! You talk about
having a (Eph 3:20) moment.
There is so much I take from this
story.
1) You have to know when to wait for
someone else’s time. Joseph had to hear from God himself. There is power and
wisdom in waiting. When it was the right time for Joseph to know, he knew! As
girls we are tempted to step in, but Mary waited. She let God take care of
Joseph.
2) In the meantime was God's time.
Never in our wait is God inactive (Hab. 1:5, 2:3). God was the one who had to
change Joseph's heart, not Mary. Wait on the Lord with expectation. Knowing the
longer He is taking the harder He is working. I echo Bethany Dillon's lyrics, "You can do more in my waiting, than in
my doing I could do." There is power in waiting.
Mary didn't just sit around and
become anxious over the whole thing. NO! She trusted the Lord, and must have
known that he would take care of Joseph. When the Angel told Mary, "For nothing is impossible with
God." She must have not only believed for herself, but also believed
if for Joseph.
Only God can change a heart, a circumstance, a situation, and
nothing is impossible!
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