Lesson Learned

God can give you love for a person that on your own you absolutely cannot stand. It is only the work of the Holy Spirit that gave me compassion for this woman. I lay in bed, tossing in turning mostly because I was excited about the new door God has opened. He had provided above and beyond what I asked. He provided more than just financially. He provided in more ways than one! 

As I thought about my journey, and I do mean journey, with the Lord over the last 2 ½ years my mind was simply blown with what he had done, was doing and is yet to do. If you would have told me 3 years ago in Jan of 2010 what lay ahead me in the next three years I am pretty sure I would have:
 #1 not have believed you, and #2 I probably would have just laughed at you.

As my mind began to replay all the different events of the last three years, my heart began to go out to this woman that I once trusted. I realized very quickly that I had not guarded my heart in a lot of different ways and wasn't as discerning as I should have been. I was quick to assume where she was spiritually—I made too many assumptions and based my ability to trust on those assumptions or judgments.

I am not saying what she did was right or okay, because it wasn’t. It hurt me and many other people involved. We need to be careful that we don’t blown in like tornados only to leave nothing but debris for other people to pick off. That’s what happened to me. I sat, many times, feeling very helpless before Lord--knowing there was nothing I could do. I remember one night reading (Ps 18) and verse 6-19 stood out to me (got check them out for yourself) but it was in that moment I heard the Lord whisper, “I fight for my kids.” I knew the Lord was fighting for me, and I needed only to be still.

My mind flashed back though to when I began to share all the Lord was doing in my life at the time. I shared with her things that were not concrete decisions, simply thoughts and things I was praying about. Most of the people in my life, who are in my close circle, know that when you are making big decisions there is a lot of prayer, prayer, prayer, processing, talking things through, getting godly counsel, being in the Word, and PRAYER, involved!!!

At that time God was stirring a lot of things in my heart and I was very much in the processing stage. God used a number of people to keep my feet on the ground when I was ready to jump off the high-dive of faith. I needed to come down for a moment and really think some things through. I messed up in thinking this person was mature enough (spiritually) and stable enough (mentally and emotionally) to understand that but they were not. I didn’t do anything wrong except confided in and talked to the wrong person. I didn’t go to the person I should have gone to and discuss all God was doing. He would have understood. He knew my heart and would have most likely helped me talk it through and think it through…we could have made a decision together rather than months later (with God) talk things through while also having to pick up all the pieces of what was already a fragile friendship.

I learned a lot of lessons that maybe I wouldn’t have learned otherwise, and it helped steer me in the direction the Lord had for me. It stopped me in “my” tracks; which is what I needed. I was running full speed ahead after what I wanted, never stopping to ask if it was really what God wanted.Again, I assumed it looked "godly" therefore it must be God. Nope, not always the case. I have since learned that I need a small, very small, group of people whom can give me godly counsel, and who I can come to when I need some help processing through decisions. Not that I am not trusting of people, but I had become overwhelmed with the 100 voices speaking into my life, and I hadn’t stopped long enough to really listen to The One voice I really needed to listen to, Jesus.

Again, not saying what this person did was okay, because it wasn’t. I don’t care what the reason it’s NEVER okay to: gossip and betray people. Sorry, but you can’t justify either of those. Even if your motives “to you” seem just, gossip, lying (btw…twisting the truth or not telling the whole truth is still lying) and betraying a friends trust is still sin...no matter how you try to justify why you did what you did.

But, I also see that I should have not been so quick to trust and assume that I could

1)   Trust this person, 2) That they were in the same place in their walk with God that I was, and so therefore would understand certain things.

I learned a lot, but tonight my heart just was softened a little as I thought back to some of the things I said. I made a lot of assumptions and therefore my actions and words followed. But I am reminded of (Prov 19:2) that says, “Enthusiasm without knowledge is not good; haste makes mistakes.” (NLT)

The Lord had given me that warning before and I didn’t heed it and I didn’t this time either. But, I think I get it now!!! HAHA. Aren't you so thankful for the Lord's mercy, grace and patience. I know I am!

Basically, the take home lesson is: get to know someone before you just open up to them, and also don’t have a lot of passion/feelings/enthusiasm about anything (person, idea, job…etc) without first knowledge (details, persons character…etc). Praying that in this case, the lesson has been learned!