God's Best?

I am a dreamer. Always have been. My dad use to tell me, in love, that I had a tendency when I wanted to do something  I would concoct in my mind what it was going to be like to do ‘said thing.’ But whenever the reality kicked in and it wasn’t what I thought I would get discouraged.

I not only did that with cheerleading, softball, gymnastics, and dance but in many others aspects of my life. When it wasn’t going how I thought or didn’t look how I thought, I would get discouraged or disappointed.

That leads me to this question: what does God’s best mean or look like?

When we say things like “wait on God’s best” how do we know when something or someone is God’s best? What is the difference between God’s best and ‘our idea’ of God’s best? Probably a good question to answer since we throw that saying around so much—don’t you think?

Just tonight I sat over coffee with my good friend Jenny, and I was sharing with her this very same thing. How do you know when it’s God best? We throw these cliche around but do we even know what they mean? She looked at me and said, “I am so glad you said that! I have been looking for a good devotional and I can’t seem to find one. I just am so sick of all the cliche. Just someone be raw and tell me something straight.”

I have been going through Beth Moore’s study The Law of Love with a group of college girls from by church and since I am leading…well fascinating it I like to work a little a head of them so I am prepared when we next meet.

I was on the third week of the study and Beth talked about, how do you know when you are in your land of promise? One of the things she talked about was that God told the Israelites it would be a “good land.” But “good land” doesn’t mean easy, no pain, no hurt, no hard work; but it’s good.

When we are in the wilderness God seems to do cartwheels in front of us. We get manna from Heaven, and pillars of cloud by day and fire by night to lead us through out wilderness. But in the promised land we are not just handed things…God gives us the tools and says go make bread from this wheat. I will be with you, but I am not going to do it all for you now. Man gets to participate with God. The Promised Land is a productive land. The Promised Land is not where things are handed to you…it’s where you get to walk by faith.

I have been thinking a lot about what Jennie Allen in her book Anything said about our “scrapbooks” or should I say Promised Lands.

“We all have pictures of our lives in our minds, how they ‘should be,’ how we hope they will be—how we picture them. we collect these pictures in powerful scrapbooks that exist in our heads. We plan it all out:

-when we will get married

-how many kids we will have

-where we will live

-how much  money we will make

-what our jobs will be

-what our houses will look like

-how our husbands will treat us

-the places we will travel

-who our friends will be

-how our kids will behave

-how close our grandkids should live

-when we will retire

-and what our ministries will look like

At some point we realize it doesn’t work that way. We can’t control the actual scrapbook—the ones reflecting the past rather than the future. But we still long to try to control our lives and to build them to match the picture of the lives we want.

And letting go? The idea that we would actually hand it all over to God and say, “Go. Build it. Do whatever you want with all I have…it is terrifying!

What if God has planned any of these as part of the story?
-singleness

-struggle

-adoption

-a difficult husband

-infertility

-moving from the town we love

-and apartment instead of a house

-cancer

-disapproval

-death

-dangerous overseas missions

-financial hardship

What if he let’s me suffer? What if he asks me to sacrifice? What if none of ‘my’ dreams come true? The very thought of doing anything, demands everything. We have to face our fears. If we believe he is real, if we believe he has an eternal heart, we have to face the fact that a God like that may mess with our temporary comforts and fictional scrapbooks.”

God’s goal in your life is not to make everything easy. His goal is to make you and I more and more into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. Your life is meant to have meaning  and purpose! God wants you and I to be holy as he is holy (1 Peter 1:13-16). His will for your life is your sanctification (1 Thess 4:3-8).

God’s best for me and for you is anything that helps make us be more like Jesus. Again, that does not mean rainbows and butterflies everyday…although there will be those moments…but not all the time. But always remember, God is light and in Him is no darkness (1 John 1:5). All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). So you and I can have faith that whatever comes our way was sifted through hands of love. God has no dark side, no ulterior motive towards you. Whatever God allows to come your way, good or bad, is to chisel away at everything that doesn’t look like His Son.

Famous quote by Michelangelo: “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
― Michelangelo Buonarroti. God may use different things or people, but he wants to chip away at everything that doesn't look like His Son, Jesus. 

So that brings us back to our original question: What is God’s best? 

Answer: Whatever or whoever makes you more like Jesus.

The thought on my mind is—what if that means the man I will marry is NOTHING like I imagined? Don’t miss understand me, he will be a Christian. God will never tell you or ask you to do anything that contradicts Scripture. Just saying…he may not be what I expected.

  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. - Gal 6: 22-26

If I am honest I always thought God’s best meant “my list”—God giving me my idea of the “the perfect guy” was God’s best. But that is not what it means to wait on God’s best. Waiting on God’s best is not about waiting on God to give you what ‘you’ want. But, waiting on Him to bring you someone who helps make you more like him an vice versa.  My check list is a little different these days:

ü  Am I less judgmental?

ü  More patience

ü  More loving

ü  Joyful

ü  Self-control

ü  Kind

ü  Peaceful

ü  Loving

ü  Understanding

ü  Gracious

ü  Gentle

ü  Have to Trust God more

ü  Can’t be jealous

ü  Helps me stay pure

ü  Compassionate

ü  Self-less

ü  Cherishes me

Does he help me and do I help him look more like Jesus?

It was a revelation to me when I realized that it is not about looking for a guy who is “better” than the last guy I liked. It’s not taking all those qualities that I liked and turning them up a few notches, or finding a “better version” of what I just had. God’s best is the man he knows you need. I looked at my friend Kim across the table the other day at lunch, hands on my forehead looking up at her and saying “it is such a revelation to me. That I had been chasing ‘my’ dream, ‘my’ plan, assuming it was God’s plan because it looked ‘godly’ when it wasn’t. God had something so much bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. Truly. I could not have imagined it!!

 The moment I surrendered and said, “Okay Lord, you can have me for anything. I will do whatever you want me to do. I want whatever you want for me--I just want your will!”  God flung those doors wide open as if to say, “I was just waiting on you to ask!”

At the end of the day, the Holy Spirit is the one who does that work in us. As we study the Word of God and hide it in our hearts and live it, but also seek the Lord through prayer. But we also have to surround ourselves with wise counsel—people who make us better.

 As I sat with my friend Jenny in downtown Woodstock on the trendy Chambers Street I was talking to her about this while also talking about a certain guy. He was so not what I would have normally been attracted to even a year ago, yet I found my heart drawn to him. But the strange thing was…God was using him to chip away at some things in my life that did not look like Jesus. Just being his friend made me better. I had to learn to be non-judgmental, patience and more loving. It was the first time I felt “allowed” to be supportive and it wasn’t seen as weird, but it was appreciated. This past summer as I sat over looking the balcony onto the ocean I surrendered, everything! I just wanted God’s will. Period! If I was doing what God put me the plant to do…I could lay my head on my pillow at night and be okay. Doesn’t mean life would be easy, but there would be a peace that I am right where I am suppose to be even if its chaos all around me.

 But when I surrendered that also came with surrendering ‘my’ plans, ‘my’ dreams, and 'my' dream guy. But God gave me something so much more beautiful instead. As my heart lines us with his heart this amazing thing happens where I start to desire the things that God desires for me. Then I begin to pray and ask according to his will, and he then gives me what I am ask for…because it’s in accordance with his will but it is also the desire of my heart! MIND BLOWING STUFF! I KNOW!

 God’s best for you is not your dream guy off 77 things on paper fleshed out. God’s best for you is the man he knows you need. God’s best for you is anything or anyone that makes you more like his Son! God’s best is who he knows that together you will bring Him great glory! God’s ways are so much higher than our ways. I share with you what I felt the Lord told me months ago:

It may not look the way you always thought, but it will be better than you ever imagined!