Just Do Something...
I am a “to the point” kind of girl. If you want to say something just say it. I like details don’t get me wrong, most girls do.But most of the time I just like straight forwardness when it comes to certain topics. I have the incredible opportunity of working at a Hide and Seek Day Camp this summer.In about 2 weeks we start training, and our director Cathy mailed the staff a book we will be using for our devotional during the summer, but she wanted us to get a head start on it before training. It’s titled “Just Do Something. A liberating approach to finding God’s will.”
The moment I started reading it, I already liked it. It was forwarded my Joshua Harris who wrote “Boy Meets Girl” probably my favorite book on the topic of relationships. So from the get go I loved it. Then as I started to read I loved how straight forward Kevin DeYoung (author) is. A lot of what he said I heard Ben Stuart talk about at Passion 2010. I was thinking: “Ben must have read this book…lol” But what I love is the clear way Kevin explains about figuring out God’s will. I haven’t finished the book, and I already am recommending everyone to get it and read it. If you don’t like when people are just straight shooters, then this might not be for you. But, if you can handle someone who just gets straight to the point, and tells you what’s up, then get this book. The chapter I want to share with you an excerpt out of is the chapter titled : “Work, Wedlock, and God’s Will.”
Now WARNING guys, he is tough on yal. I want to add this before you read this excerpt. My personal opition on why some girls are waiting until they are “older” to get married is not because we want a carrer, or just want to be single until we're 30. I think girls are beginning to see that the finish line for our lives is not marriage. It is something most girls deeply desire, myself included, but we have made almost an idol out of it, especially in Christian culture. We think if I can attain “that” then I will be happy. I think what God is trying to get across to girls is that our worth and value don’t come from whether we are married or not.If we can get it across to them younger then maybe it wouldn't take us until we're 25 to finally figure it out. As women we want to know we are wanted, needed and loved. That we havea irreplaceable role to play. But, we keep looking to the man to tell us who we are instead of looking to Christ. When women can realize their value is not found in a relationship, then they are way more likely to get married to a great Christian guy and be happy, because she is not looking to him for her source of identity. If that make since. I think, at least I see it with my friends, we want to be married, but we have to learn that Christ satisfies first. In my parents’ generation I have seen so many unhappy married couples, because they thought marriage is the solution and it’s not. They thought "this is what I'm suppose to do.I'm of a certain age, i need to get married..etc" What i see in my generation is people coming to grips with the fact that Jesus is what must satisfy above all else, or we will just keep grasping for the next thing that we think will satisfy. So with that warning sign in front of you here is what Kevin wrote in “Just Do Something.” I can’t write everything, because then this would a very long blog. But, the part I will share is the portion titled “is this the one?”
“…and while I’m stepping on toes, let me explode the myth of “the one.” Yes, it is God’s secret providence, He has just the right person picked out for you. And yes, once you meet the guy or girl of your dreams, you won’t want to be with anyone else. He or she will be the one for you. I know this will sound very unromantic (especially to some ladies), but don’t think that there is only one person on this whole planet to whom you could be happily married. You’re not looking for that one puzzle piece that will interlock with yours. “you complete me” may sound magically romantic, but it’s not true. Yes, men and women are designed to rely on one another in Marriage. However, the biblical formula for marriage is not half a person plus half a person equals one completed puzzle of a person. Genesis math says one plus one equals one. (Gen 2:24).
I’m not saying you shouldn’t ‘fit’ with your spouse. And, of course, once you’re married he or she will be the only puzzle piece for you. But before that don’t think that “I’ve met this great gal or guy, but what if he or she’s not the one? What if the one is in Boise and I haven’t found him or her yet? Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t fret about finding your soul mate. And especially after you’re married and you’re having difficulties, don’t tell your pastor “I’m getting a divorce; he or she wasn’t the on.” (Code for: this is not what I imagined). The problem with the myth of “the one” is that it assumes that affection is the glue that holds the marriage together, when really it is your commitment to marriage that safeguards the affection. So ditch the myth and get hitched."
There are 4 steps in any decision making process, so the same goes for getting married. The small group that I was in went through the “Experiencing God Study” and he used these same 4 steps if you trying to figure out if something is God’s will or not. The four are : 1) Search Scripture, 2) Wise Counsel, 3) Pray, 4) Make a decision. For this topic the one I want to elaborate on is, 3) Pray. This is what Kevin says:
“Ask God for pure motives. You don’t want to get married for lust or money or for fear of being single. You certainly don’t want to get married to spite at an ex boyfriend or girlfriend to show them you are desirable after all. Ask God that He would help you be honest about who you are and that you might know the other people for who they really are. Ask God for help not to make a decision based on your hormones, and that you won’t refuse to make a decision out of cowardice.
Finally, pray less that God would show you who is the right husband or wife and pray more to be the right kind of spouse. Dump your list of the 17 things you need in a wife/husband and make yourself a list of 17 things you need to be as a husband or wife. Too many young people are waiting for writing in the sky before they make a relational commitment. It doesn’t have to be that complicated. Gentlemen, there are wonderful Christian girls waiting for you to act, well, like a man. Stop waiting for romantic lightning to strike. Stop waiting for the umpteenth green light. Stop ”hanging out” every night without ever making your intentions clear. Go ask a girl on a date, or ask her “to court,” or whatever you think the appropriate language. But do something. If you want to be single, that’s great. Jesus was single. I hear it can be a pretty good gig. But if you want to get married, do something about it. Take a chance. Risk rejection. Be the relational and spiritual leader God has called you to be.
The moment I started reading it, I already liked it. It was forwarded my Joshua Harris who wrote “Boy Meets Girl” probably my favorite book on the topic of relationships. So from the get go I loved it. Then as I started to read I loved how straight forward Kevin DeYoung (author) is. A lot of what he said I heard Ben Stuart talk about at Passion 2010. I was thinking: “Ben must have read this book…lol” But what I love is the clear way Kevin explains about figuring out God’s will. I haven’t finished the book, and I already am recommending everyone to get it and read it. If you don’t like when people are just straight shooters, then this might not be for you. But, if you can handle someone who just gets straight to the point, and tells you what’s up, then get this book. The chapter I want to share with you an excerpt out of is the chapter titled : “Work, Wedlock, and God’s Will.”
Now WARNING guys, he is tough on yal. I want to add this before you read this excerpt. My personal opition on why some girls are waiting until they are “older” to get married is not because we want a carrer, or just want to be single until we're 30. I think girls are beginning to see that the finish line for our lives is not marriage. It is something most girls deeply desire, myself included, but we have made almost an idol out of it, especially in Christian culture. We think if I can attain “that” then I will be happy. I think what God is trying to get across to girls is that our worth and value don’t come from whether we are married or not.If we can get it across to them younger then maybe it wouldn't take us until we're 25 to finally figure it out. As women we want to know we are wanted, needed and loved. That we havea irreplaceable role to play. But, we keep looking to the man to tell us who we are instead of looking to Christ. When women can realize their value is not found in a relationship, then they are way more likely to get married to a great Christian guy and be happy, because she is not looking to him for her source of identity. If that make since. I think, at least I see it with my friends, we want to be married, but we have to learn that Christ satisfies first. In my parents’ generation I have seen so many unhappy married couples, because they thought marriage is the solution and it’s not. They thought "this is what I'm suppose to do.I'm of a certain age, i need to get married..etc" What i see in my generation is people coming to grips with the fact that Jesus is what must satisfy above all else, or we will just keep grasping for the next thing that we think will satisfy. So with that warning sign in front of you here is what Kevin wrote in “Just Do Something.” I can’t write everything, because then this would a very long blog. But, the part I will share is the portion titled “is this the one?”
“…and while I’m stepping on toes, let me explode the myth of “the one.” Yes, it is God’s secret providence, He has just the right person picked out for you. And yes, once you meet the guy or girl of your dreams, you won’t want to be with anyone else. He or she will be the one for you. I know this will sound very unromantic (especially to some ladies), but don’t think that there is only one person on this whole planet to whom you could be happily married. You’re not looking for that one puzzle piece that will interlock with yours. “you complete me” may sound magically romantic, but it’s not true. Yes, men and women are designed to rely on one another in Marriage. However, the biblical formula for marriage is not half a person plus half a person equals one completed puzzle of a person. Genesis math says one plus one equals one. (Gen 2:24).
I’m not saying you shouldn’t ‘fit’ with your spouse. And, of course, once you’re married he or she will be the only puzzle piece for you. But before that don’t think that “I’ve met this great gal or guy, but what if he or she’s not the one? What if the one is in Boise and I haven’t found him or her yet? Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t fret about finding your soul mate. And especially after you’re married and you’re having difficulties, don’t tell your pastor “I’m getting a divorce; he or she wasn’t the on.” (Code for: this is not what I imagined). The problem with the myth of “the one” is that it assumes that affection is the glue that holds the marriage together, when really it is your commitment to marriage that safeguards the affection. So ditch the myth and get hitched."
There are 4 steps in any decision making process, so the same goes for getting married. The small group that I was in went through the “Experiencing God Study” and he used these same 4 steps if you trying to figure out if something is God’s will or not. The four are : 1) Search Scripture, 2) Wise Counsel, 3) Pray, 4) Make a decision. For this topic the one I want to elaborate on is, 3) Pray. This is what Kevin says:
“Ask God for pure motives. You don’t want to get married for lust or money or for fear of being single. You certainly don’t want to get married to spite at an ex boyfriend or girlfriend to show them you are desirable after all. Ask God that He would help you be honest about who you are and that you might know the other people for who they really are. Ask God for help not to make a decision based on your hormones, and that you won’t refuse to make a decision out of cowardice.
Finally, pray less that God would show you who is the right husband or wife and pray more to be the right kind of spouse. Dump your list of the 17 things you need in a wife/husband and make yourself a list of 17 things you need to be as a husband or wife. Too many young people are waiting for writing in the sky before they make a relational commitment. It doesn’t have to be that complicated. Gentlemen, there are wonderful Christian girls waiting for you to act, well, like a man. Stop waiting for romantic lightning to strike. Stop waiting for the umpteenth green light. Stop ”hanging out” every night without ever making your intentions clear. Go ask a girl on a date, or ask her “to court,” or whatever you think the appropriate language. But do something. If you want to be single, that’s great. Jesus was single. I hear it can be a pretty good gig. But if you want to get married, do something about it. Take a chance. Risk rejection. Be the relational and spiritual leader God has called you to be.
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