Catch Me If You Can

"You've searched me and you know me..." - Ps. 139:1 

There are just some blog posts that take me forever to finally write and post. Not because I don’t want to share something God is teaching me, but it’s usually because it feels so big, that finding the words to articulate what it being spoken in my heart are hard to find sometimes.

But this is a topic that I’m super passionate about these days, which I find funny because it’s actually a topic I hated talking about two or three years ago, and that is the topic of pursuit.

I would hear ladies growing up telling me that the guy should be the pursuer, but if I’m honest I didn’t really know what that meant or even looked like…practically speaking.

 Did that mean he was supposed to ask me out, or chase me down, or what? The thought of being chased sounded scary. If I don't like you...please don't chase me! I had no idea. Was he suppose to call? What if I had something to say…he can’t read my mind. Am I allowed to text him? Can I “friend request” him first? Is that okay? I had NO IDEA!

Now granted, when I first started learning about relationships, PRAISE THE LORD, Facebook had not even been invented yet…or even Myspace for that matter. All manner of social media were the least of my worries when I began the adventure that is the “dating game.”

It wasn’t until I was going through a season of deep brokenness that God showed me what it really meant to be pursued. But before I could learn what it looked like for a man to pursue me in a godly way I had to first awaken to the truth that I was already being pursued…by God Himself!

God had been pursuing my heart from the beginning. Jesus is the bridegroom and He pursues us, His Church. Little by little God began to help me grasp how much he loved me. Before I could really appreciate the pursuit and love of a man, I had to realize that Jesus loved me more than anyone ever could. That Jesus pursues my heart like no one else. 

He loved me…first!  

In Psalm 139 David is describing how precious we are to God--before we even speak a word the Lord knows it completely. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made" by God. One of the verses that God used and continues to use to show and teach me what true pursuit looks like is Ps 139: 1. It begins with, “You have searched me and you know me.”

That is what it means to be pursued.

To be searched and then therefore fully known.

That is what we all long for. Not just girls--we all long to be fully known and fully loved. We all long for someone to know all the good, bad and ugly of us and love us anyone. That is our Jesus!

He knows us better than anyone, yet loves us more than anyone ever could. Our God relentlessly pursues our ever-wandering hearts.

That is beautiful and oh so encouraging, but that is not the part that God uses to teach me what he desired for his daughters.

It was the part of the verse that said, “…searched…”

To search for something, you have to go looking.

"A man who FINDS a wife finds a treasure." 

 When you search someone out, another way to say that would to be you, “studied.” When you study, if you do it right, it takes time. You don't just suddenly know everything. You read, ask questions, research, you really search out information to know and understand whatever it is your studying better. 

God is so brilliant  in that even though He already knows everything about us, he still searches our hearts. He is all about relationship—intimacy. The thrill of the chase--or the search. 

It’s more than big displays of affection…although those are nice. Jesus did the ultimate display of love by dying on a cross!

A guy desiring to do something nice, or romantic, is lovely and greatly appreciated. Ladies, do not become entitled and act like someone “owes you" some grand act of love all the time…if your guy is going out of his way to show he loves and appreciates you… show him the respect of being appreciative and thankful!

Grande displays of love are wonderful, but thats only half.  It’s part of it, but not the only way he pursues you.Honestly, he doesn't even have to do that. 

Everyone cannot be Kayne West, okay! Just sayin' hahaha 

But, if all a guy does is a bunch of stuff for me and just gives me stuff…thats going to get old and fast if there is nothing else. Actions are part of it, but not the whole thing.

It’s not even phone calls or being asked out.

Again, those are all just actions. It’s not even about spending time together…although that is important too. It’s what you do with that time that matters.

This was the key for me, and the eye opening moment.

It was the word, “studied.”

Asking questions!! Being intentional! 

Pursuit involves...conversation. Not all one sided, by the way...ladies and gents. You pursue one anthers hearts, the guy just gets to lead in it. But it goes both ways. 

For a long time I didn’t think I was worth pursuing so I would take matters into my own hands instead of trusting God, and fixing my eyes on Him and letting God’s best for me chase me. That doesn’t mean play games. It means that as a daughter of God you understand your worth and value, and you know what you have to offer. It’s not a tool to be used to manipulate, but simply how romance works best.

It’s the guy’s job to initiate, and the girls to respond. It’s the guy’s job to seek out, but also the girl’s to search him out as well. Be the kind of women who encourages and praises him—not beats him down.

As we delight in the Lord he changes our hearts. Jesus changed my desires. I no longer feel that I have to be the one to make the first move or make the phone call. I have a strong, God given conviction, that I didn’t have before, that I will not settle for less than a man who pursues me the way God desires for me to be pursued…to be searched out.

That doesn’t mean I won’t call a guy or text a guy if I need to talk about something. That doesn’t mean I won’t ask a guy-friend to hangout. That doesn’t mean I won’t encourage my brothers in Christ.

All that means is that as a daughter of God I don't settle for less than a guy who first loves Jesus and then takes the time to get to know you.  But before you can appreciate an earthly pursuit, you have to first realize you’re what?... already pursued.

Earthly romance (when done God’s way) is simply a reflection to the watching world of Christ and his Church—even his pursuit of His Bride.

Disclaimer ladies: Not all pursuit is romantic. So don’t start assuming because a  guy is calling and asking you questions he’s pursuing you…haha.

Pray for wisdom, seek wise counsel, and guard you heart. Know you worth and value in Christ and trust that God’s best for you will pursue you (that includes how he treats you).

Remember, whomever you marry one day is not the embodiment of perfection. They are human just like you. Leave room for love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. We are all a work in progress too!