Dressed To Kill

Proverbs 7 Woman

Dressed to Seduce

Have you every heard the saying, “Dress to Kill?”  What does that normally imply? Most of the time as women we use it to mean we think we look really good that day. The hair is looking good, got the right shoes, right jeans, cute top, great lip-gloss, some awesome accessories…we are looking good and we know it. We are “dressed to kill.”

But that saying takes on a whole new meaning when you read Proverbs 7. When I read it out of The Message Version the title Dressed to Seduce immediately made me think of that saying “Dress to Kill” because that is exactly what the Proverbs 7 women was out to do—kill! Steal, Kill and Destroy (John 10:10)

“Dear friends, do what I tell you; treasure my careful instructions. Do what I say and you’ll live well. My teaching is as precious as your eyesight—guard it! Write it on the back of your heart. Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress—that smooth-talking, honey-tongued seductress.” –Proverbs 7:1-5 (MSG)

We hear alot about the Proverbs 31 women. As Christian women, and we have a love/hate relationship with her don’t we? A list of all things we should be as a godly woman. But, how often do we look at what we should not be?

The world has it’s opinion (as always) and paints a picture of what we should be as a woman in the 21^st century. It’s on and in almost every magazine, movie, and television show. The world makes it pretty clear what it thinks it means to be a real women.  But, as in most things, God says the opposite. The very things the world tells us, as women to do to get a man are the very things God tells us not to do, and Solomon warns his son about that kind of women.

So I purpose this question: Without realizing it are we being groomed to be “the adulterous woman?”

The world says, “to be desirable is to be loveable.” (i.e. I am only worth loving or will be loved if I am like ______).

If you have read my blog for any length of time you have probably figured out by now, that I write posts more to process through things, not out of expertise. So all this came about after catching myself going to a place (in my thoughts) I never thought I would. So let me just say this, before we start pointing figures at all the “Proverbs 7 girls” we see out there lets take a good hard look in the mirror. Lets look at our own hearts and see if we don’t find that we do some of the same things.

You may not be trying to get someone else’s man, but do you find yourself ever acting this way towards men at all!!!

The world is shocked by the fact that there is even any glimpse of anything resembling modesty. Modestly doesn't just have to do with your clothing choices--it's about our hearts. What we chose to wear or not wear is a reflection is something deeper. 

Just like on the TLC show What NOT to Wear we learn what works and what doesn’t fashion wise. So instead of looking at the Proverbs 31 women and what we can learn from her, lets look at the Proverbs 7 women and learn from her what NOT to do!

“Search  me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting.” Ps 139:23-24

Dear friend, do what I tell you; treasure my careful instructions.
Do what I say and you’ll live well. My teaching is as precious as your eyesight—guard it!
Write it out on the back of your hands;
etch it on the chambers of your heart.
Talk to Wisdom as to a sister.
Treat Insight as your companion.
They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress—
that smooth-talking, honey-tongued Seductress.

As I stood at the window of my house
 looking out through the shutters,
Watching the mindless crowd stroll by,
I spotted a young man without any sense
Arriving at the corner of the street where she lived,
then turning up the path to her house.
It was dusk, the evening coming on,
the darkness thickening into night.


Just then, a woman met him—
she’d been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him.
Brazen and brash she was,
restless and roaming, never at home,
Walking the streets, loitering in the mall,
 hanging out at every corner in town.

She threw her arms around him and kissed him,
boldly took his arm and said,
“I’ve got all the makings for a feast—
today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid,
So now I’ve come to find you,
    hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are!
I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed,
    colorful imported linens.
My bed is aromatic with spices 
and exotic fragrances.
Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking!
My husband’s not home; he’s away on business,
and he won’t be back for a month.”

Soon she has him eating out of her hand,
bewitched by her honeyed speech.
Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her,
    like a calf led to the butcher shop,
Like a stag lured into ambush
    and then shot with an arrow,
Like a bird flying into a net
    not knowing that its flying life is over.

So, friends, listen to me, 
take these words of mine most seriously.
Don’t fool around with a woman like that;
don’t even stroll through her neighborhood.
Countless victims come under her spell;
she’s the death of many a poor man.
She runs a halfway house to hell,
    fits you out with a shroud and a coffin.

I don’t know about you, but as I read that description that is not the kind of woman the world warns us against; it’s the kind of women it is training us to be. If we are not careful we, like Samson (Judges 13-16), will be drawn away by the lure of the world to be this kind of woman.

You may not go the extremes she does, but do you your actions, dress, and words say seductress or God-fearing women?

You can say you “love Jesus” all day, but when it comes down to it are you in anyway trying to seduce & manipulate guys? This is about so much  more than close. It’s about our behavior as women, young ladies, towards men. I remember when by friend’s boyfriend was reading Proverbs 7 to a group of girls he stopped midway through it and said, “I just feel sorry for this guy. This would be hard for any guy to resist.”  So what are some lessons we can learn from “The Proverbs 7 Women?”

What NOT to do!

1)    Make No Prevision for the flesh (Rom 13:14)

“Now, when the Bible says, “make no provision for the flesh,” it is teaching us to avoid setting ourselves up for sinful behavior or placing ourselves in situations when we will be extremely tempted to wear the old deeds of darkness if ya know what I mean!” – Radiant by: Marian Jordan

The “adulterous woman” is manipulative and seductive. She knows what will get a mans attention and will lure him in and so she does the very things she knows he can’t resist.

“She’d been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him. Brazen and brash she was,
restless and roaming, never at home,
Walking the streets, loitering in the mall,
 hanging out at every corner in town.”

You know who that sounds like? Satan! (1 Peter 5:8) “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a guy to feel like he has to avoid me to remain pure. I don’t want to be a temptress. If I may be so bold I know of girls (because I was one of them in High School) who dressed to seduce. Even at Church! You dress to turn heads!

I love what Beth Moore said one time that she told a friend of hers who has three young boys. The friend was telling Beth “do these young girls know what they are doing to these boys with the way they dress?” Beth’s response, “Of course they know! That’s why they are doing it!

During the guy panel at the Pillars Girls Conference one of the questions was about the way girls dress and how it effects guys. I love what my friend Josh said. He asked the girls what was the first thing they did in the morning. After a few answer he finally got the one he was looking for “you get dressed.” He basically said that you are very well aware of what you put on your body. So dress in a way that doesn’t distract. That is the readers digest version. But it’s true! As girls we know EXACTLY what we are doing when we put on certain clothes.

My friend Bricey’s boyfriend Brad shared this piece of advice with a group of high school girls one Wednesday Night at Bible study, “girls think that if they hike up their skirts, they hike up their chances. If you do that, you will get a guy. But it will not be the kind of guy you want. He will only want one thing and will not respect you. And what you did to get him, you will feel you have to do to keep him.”

So, do you dress to seduce! There is nothing wrong with cute clothes! By all means dress up, look cute, I would be the biggest hypocrite on the planet if I told you otherwise. I love to shop!!! But, just don’t dress to seduce and tempt guys away from living a godly life. You want guys to feel safe around you…not like that they have to avoid you because they not only don’t trust themselves with you, but also don’t trust you!

2)    Seductive Speech

“She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said,
“I’ve got all the makings for a feast—
today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid,
So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are!
I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed,
    colorful imported linens.
My bed is aromatic with spices 
and exotic fragrances.
Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking!
My husband’s not home; he’s away on business,
and he won’t be back for a month.”

Now, maybe you are not going to be this bold and brash! I hope not. But, I have had to catch myself and I remember being this way in high school. I might not follow up with actions, but I certainly could talk a good game if you get my drift! Defiantly was a big flirt! A lot has changed over the years and I have found since I really surrender to the Lord when I was 18 years-old I have become a little more shy when I comes to guys. Maybe coie is a better word. But, if I am not careful, when I like a guy that old fleshly Brittney will roar her ugly head!!!

How do we talk to guys? We need to be building them up with our words. Not tearing them down. FYI: seductive words tear them down! It doesn’t help them think pure thoughts!

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.(Luke 6:45)

In Luke 6:45 do you notice, the good that is stored up in our hearts will come out, but so will the evil that is stored up in our hearts. Out of the overflow of our hearts our mouth will speak. So what kind of words are we speaking? This post is more to make you think. Then pray and ask the Lord to show you any areas in your life where you are trying to be “a seductresses.”

The scary thing is that some of these things like dressing immodestly and speaking seductively have been celebrated and encouraged in young girls. I love what Marian Jordan in her book Radiant says about “Flirting with the Ex” the Ex being the world “Every woman must ask herself, “Am I influencing the world, or is the world influencing me?”

James Boice describes the world as “an organized system, made up of a set of ideas, people, activities, purposes, used by Satan for opposing the work of Christ on earth. It is the very opposite of what is godly.

Please hear my heart! Don’t mistake my boldness for condemnations! I would be the biggest hypocrite! I simply hope that we open our eyes and see that we are a lot more like the (Proverbs 7 Woman) than we like to believe at times. 

Do I want the man I am dating and praying about marrying to desire me and me desire him? Absolutely!  As  a women who desires to love Jesus with all I am I want a guy drawn to me for my heart for Jesus; not just because of my body! We are not valuable because we are desired sexually--unfortunately we live in a world were if girls are not taught any different that is what they are groomed to believe. That they are as valuable as they are desirable. 

Our value and worthy has nothing to do with whether we turn heads or not. God's love is placed on us for no other reason than he chooses to love us. We have value and worth because we're made in the image of God. If a guy says your beautiful, he's only echoing what has already been spoken over you. You & I are not valuable only when people notice us--we already stand in Christ accepted, loved, valued, cherished & worth dying for.  

The fact that we are set part is a beautiful thing! Modestly doesn't mean turtle-necks & dresses to our knees. But it does mean being thoughtful in how we dress, speak & treat others (especially guys). I like being trendy just as much as the next girl, but you can do it in a way that is tasteful & classy. Ultimately, our hearts desire should be to glorify God with our lives & that should come out in what/how we dress & speak.  

You want there to be some mystery--something to pursue. Don’t lie in wait, seeking to seduce and manipulate only to pull him down because you think that’s the only way you’ll get him. Continue to be the godly young lady you are. Be something different. 

Build him up, not tear him down. Allow the Lord to continue to make your heart into the beautiful heart He desires and created it to be. Lord will give him the grace he needs to receive the gift you are. Don't be afraid to be set apart. 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."-Jeremiah 1:5